Parents and the Pill

calling doctor shankar !

``I have always been very scared of my mother, and have always done everything she has asked me to do.``

........... first tony soprano, now romair !

Temporal #various: ``after #295 you cannot plead ignorance...how much timedo you need?``

I have been thoroughly enjoying watching your impatience, but I think if I don`t answer your question, you might have a nervous breakdown. As might Shankar, who has been asking my age, also..........And I don`t want to be blamed for sending both of you, senior citizens, to the heavens.......

``Never ask a student his age, a women her salary and a man his GPA.`` Or is it, ``Never ask a student his GPA, a woman her age, and a man his salary.`` Either way, here goes:

I am in my 30s. I was in my 30s, when I joined Chowk and am still in that range. This should give you a good idea of my age. Wiser than the immature 20 somethings. And not as cynical, and out of touch as the over the hill 40-somethings.............

I come from a family of extremely ignorant soldiers and extremely uneducated govt. servants. Not to mention extremely unsuccessful businessmen. And anyone who is not invovled in either of these three professions, in our family, is considered extremely incompetent. My father still keeps asking me, on every phone call, why I wasted my time getting a Masters Degree, when I could have been a young Lt. Col, right, on his way to becoming a General (sometimes I ask myself that question, also)........

I got married at a very young age. It`s still a blur. It was an arranged marriage. I have always been very scared of my mother, and have always done everything she has asked me to do. Including marriage. At various stages, my wife and I lived apart, sometimes in different countries, since we were both studying. This included, on my side, a stint with young Ameican Lieutenants, who had drunk every beer ever made in Europe and had sex with every girl ever born in the Phillipines. Much of it, in front of me. Perhaps that is where I was traumatised for life on this subject. On her side, it included a two-year stint with three ladies, who would have been stoned to death many times over, had they lived in Pakistan. Let`s just leave it at that......Somehow or the other, both of us survived unscathed. I now regularly counsel those Lieutenants and she, the ladies, as they come to us with their broken relationships and family problems, during their visits our Chruch-like little Pleasantville world.........where we both live relatively happily, drowning in our innocent naivette......

No, I don`t have any children. Yet. Though will be arriving shortly. Hence my concern. I am heavily and prejudicely biased towards thin adults and fat toddlers. And after doing a lot of research, immediately after marriage, was unable to come up with any kind of method, which would gaurantee that the babies would be fat. So I decided not to have any, while my wife wanted them. Then when I wanted them, she decided she didn`t. Then we actually thought of adopting one, thereby, guaranteeing the fatness. However, that idea wouldn`t have flown well with the elder generation. And I didn`t want to ruin the life of an innocent toddler, by forcing her to live with me. Yes, we decided long ago, that we want a girl. This decision was reached after seeing how well my sisters looked after my aging parents, while I was making big bucks in North America, along with my brother-in-law (who also dumped his aging parents the first chance he got, much to the anger of my wife)........

So that is my story...........I hope you enjoyed it...........Now could we get your story............

Subroto:373
Thanks for the alert. But you know that was on March 31, 2005.

and this was by her on April 1, 2005.

Indian men wear mini skirts to work! 04-01-2005
Hindustan Times

Sidhi Chadha

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From your alert!
I am happy to know anyway that India has not regressed to such a low western-level that such stuff no longer considered a joke.

romair mian,

``The whole theme of your replies, on this thread, has been the highlighting of the scum-ness of the desis in your community..``.......

.......... there you go again !.......... i never said, the the entire desi community was scummy (although i do think they need a make-over) but they do have just as many scummy people as any other community ......... wife beaters, pedophiles, welfare cheaters, illegal immigrants, medicare and medicaid scammers, con artists, etc etc ..........there is at least a few of each ........but all of them think they are better than ``them`` because they don`t eat pork !

........ what next ?.......so you want me to give you an exact number of the poor women who fell for my rather limited charms .... okay, four - and two of them were one night stands who probably regretted it the next morning - god knows i did!..........any time i count, i come up with two !...... makes me feel better about myself !............. so, how about you ?......... ever had sex or are we just going to talk about it ? ...........

............ anything else you want to know while i am under the influence of bad mango juice ?........you know, you need to lighten up - i have never met an air force chap who was so flaky ........ all the guys i know are so much fun - of course tthey are all pilots and that might be the diffference ......... were you in risalpur `84-`86.........

romair, in all seriousness, if i knew the point you were trying to make, i would be with you. i agree with you 100% that promiscuity is bad, that extra-marital relationships are bad, that pre-marital sex leads to issues. i believe even hamidm agrees with you that much.

i think, and i am trying to use all of my limited analytical abilities here, the point of contention between you and hamidm is this: he is commenting on the fact that promiscuity exists in pakistan, and is on rise. whereas you think that his comments on the ``state of promiscuity`` in some way `condone` promiscuity. your comments regarding atif`s posts indicated that you mistook his commentary on the ``stages of extra-marital sex`` to be his ``condoning of extra-marital sex``.

i believe we are all on same page regarding the above. its just a matter of symantecs.

the real point of contention was your statement that you would kill yourself if you found your daughter to be on pill. and what i suggested was that having a lying, land grabbing, bribing daughter in pakistan should be much more of a die-able offence for you than her having sex. it amazes me that we muslims have such warped sense of dignity that we can tolerate looting and killing our blood relatives and brothers, but are ready to kill ourselves (and daughter) were she to get on a pill.

once again, NO ONE is condoning pre-marital sex or promiscuity. we are just talking about how to deal with it IFFFF it happens in our family. i just returned from islamabad, and i can tell you that promiscuity is on the rise in pakistan. and the girls who are involved in it are someone`s daughters and sisters too. tomorrow it could be one of ours. so lets have a rational approach to it.

otherwise this cycle of honor killings and gang rapes will continue.

Haaa Haaaa Haaaa!
Something the Satanic Cultists would truely enjoy. * (my asides)

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from BBC News online, 2005-Feb-14:

Gay outrage over penguin sex test
*(who else would be enraged?)

Humboldt penguins are threatened with extinction
*(Won`t becoming gay make them extinct?)

Gay rights activists have protested at a north German zoo`s plans to test the sexual orientation of six male penguins which have displayed homosexual traits.
*( Should the penguins not get married by the new pope?)

Bremerhaven`s Zoo am Meer said it would introduce four extra female penguins from Sweden to the group to see if the males really were gay.

*( They are already gay--as in happy--why bother?)

But zoo director Heike Kueck said ``gay groups worldwide have been cursing us since that announcement``.

*( Birds of a feather..)

The zoo says it just wants to encourage the rare Humboldt penguins to breed.

*( But then gay humans would becomre extint)

The males have been observed trying to mate with each other and trying to hatch offspring out of stones.

*(That`s why gay humans want to adopt & want their own stones)

``We don`t know whether the three male pairs are really homosexual or whether they have just bonded because of a shortage of females,`` said Mrs Kueck, quoted by Germany`s Der Spiegel news magazine.

*( It is so difficult to know now that Darwin rules the roost--on the tree)

Gay groups insisted that penguins had a right to form couples without human interference, she said.

*( So keeping them in a zoo is divine interference?)

``Nobody here wants to forcibly separate homosexual couples,`` she said.

*( Because those from superior civilisations still think the West is not advanced)

Only one baby Humboldt penguin has been born at the zoo, which has six males and four females, Der Spiegel reports.

*( males & females? now that got to be joke. No khusraa heejRRa , zankhaa , mmasiaa classification--as the Satanic Cultists have?)

Re # 365 ``from the Hindustan Times, 2005-Mar-31, by Sidhi Chadha:

Now learn prostitution in school .... .... Institute for Carnal Studies (ICS) would ``

The date is relevant here 31st March one day before 1st April. So is the acronymn ICS. Anyone reading Indian newspapers & magazines will have read advertisements by Institute of Correspondence Studies (ICS) covering a whole range of subjects - from hair cutting to electronics. Plus read the item carefully again - this time I think you have been had.

Re: # 365

echo!

........ welcome ..... i tried to drag you into this fray earlier (for laughs, as you say) but you were probably busy with dawaa and taraweeh ..............or was it eid-i-milad un nabi recently? ...... see, nowdays it is hard to tell - it was easy when my mother (god bless her soul) used to make halwa for eid and kheer for chahar shamba .........

......... my father will be glad to know that at least somone thinks he tried to do his duty as a good muslim ......... the poor man passed away last year and the only time he prayed was when my mother made him bless the halwa or the kheer - that and of course the two eids when he, like me, made a big production out of it !........... he always had a healthy disdain for the mullah and the patwari .........

.......... but coming back to the subject of pre-marital sex and the pill, do the ulema have an opinion on this subect ? ......... and please don`t give me the standard fornication leads to stonings and beheadings line - i am sure there are other schools of thought; other nuances ............

......... i think romair is ready to enter the fold ... ..... soon he will be sleeping by your side in some mosque in toronto or manchester - i hope you don`t mind the snoring ............

hamid:

Actually, yes. Since you haven`t answered a single question, and have tactfully skipped around all of them............

mi lord please note and laugh;)

(and i have asked only one pertinent query of him)

Hamidm mian #363: .........Too many people, far angrier than you, on this site, have tried to get me angry. But have not succeeded. It`s not possible to get me angry. So I don`t think you have a shot........I am not too intelligent, I don`t know it all, I have very little business acumen, and I have been a failure at everything I have tried. So remaining calm, under all situations, is the only asset I have and my only saving grace. And I have been working on it far too long. As I said, buddhay wailey key josh pay gaya hay tussaan noonh :-) Business is a bit slow, and I have far too much time on my hands, today. So back to your doublespeak:

``i didn`t say everyone in the community is pond scum, i said that based on the three (or was it four) sordid affairs in the community mrs hamidm thinks ``

Hmm....Now you are hiding behind Mrs. Hamidm. Quite convenient. The whole theme of your replies, on this thread, has been the highlighting of the scum-ness of the desis in your community.......And telling me to get out more, since I can observe more of this scum-ness. Please read your own replies, once again, if you don`t believe........Now their are only three or four sordid affairs, out of the 500 people you know.......How quickly we change our colors............

``so taking into account that half the cadets are insecure fibbers,``

Actually, 99% of the cadets were insecure fibbers. Including me. As I said earlier, most of my batchmates, came from places like Dokh Khaba, Mianwali, Satellite Town Sarghoda, etc. And till the age of 25 did not know that the burger term for make-up is not surkhi-powder. If I ever wanted to hit on a girl, in Jinnah Market, I made sure she didn`t see them in their multi-colored wardrobes........Your group is from a different generations. But even they didn`t average 16 parntners............I doubt they could even fib that high........

``okay, you want the exact number ? ......if you really must have it i will give it to you, but gentlemen (not gentlemen cadets!) don`t talk about these things in public ............ ``

Ahh, the doublespeak shows up again. If you are asking everyone else to discuss it in public. then shouldn`t you also. Can we assume, it is zero? Which is what I know it is. And no, your experiences with the young boys in your home province of NWFP don`t count...........

``no one is threatening you!.... it was just a figure of speech........nau jawan hausla rakho !``

As was mine (other than the part about Shankar and his new found rap vocabulary).......

``........... anything else you want to know ?``

Actually, yes. Since you haven`t answered a single question, and have tactfully skipped around all of them............

Hamidm mian #361: ``............ look up promiscuity in the dictionary - it does not mean pre-marital sex ...........``

I never said, promiscous meant pre-marital sex. Although that can be a part of it. It does, however, mean the uncontrolled sex that I have been talking about. But just to satisfy your desire, I actually did just look it up in the dictionary. And lo and behold, the first definition of promiscuity was:

``1. The state or character of being promiscuous.
2. Promiscuous sexual relations.``

And the definition of, ``Promiscuous`` was:

``1. Having casual sexual relations frequently with different partners; indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners.`` (www.dictionary.com)

We may have to send you to Saminasha for some English lessons............

Hello chusni/echoboom

tea?

hamidm:

re: the poet part in 364...

never thought i could ever utter them here...but here it goes

i`d rather make love...... (and this making love defies those descriptions of yours atif)

besides, by his admission he is married...now just in case a blow or two goes astray in the mayhem...who`d want to be dubbed as the widow-maker?...no siree i want to keep those three score and ten plus two nightmares intact...

a post note caveat...you never know with some types...the above is not for the humour impaired)

echoboom:

Allah`s Hell seems one heck of a fun place to be after this party gets over. That would be an ideal place to hang for an after-party. The crowd will be so fun compared to your act up above in heaven with Romairs and.. yuck. dont even wanna think about it.

cheers man.

Romair:

Please forgive the lunatic. He is perhaps always drunk and has already gone over the deep end. Maybe he is out of work & his family is a pious practising muslim family--& he just fantacises to get attention and recognition; just by soliciting a few laughs. I hope you recognise such type. There`s is always one in every school class. The one whose father tried to drill & instill Islam into him by force and merciless beatings.

After reading this post from him & his CheerFOLLOWERS , it has dawned on me that such type is really a diseased soul and it is best to stay away from them.

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Some eye-openeing items for the the westoxicated CHOWKscum.

Would they welcome such career opportunities for those unfortunate young muslims & muslimaas they are encouraging to traverse the evil path?

May Allah give guidance to these followers of the Satanic Cult & may Allah protect their young ones from their evil & diabolical plans.

Aameen.

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from the Telegraph of London, 2005-Jan-30, by Clare Chapman:

`If you don`t take a job as a prostitute, we can stop your benefits`

A 25-year-old waitress who turned down a job providing ``sexual services`` at a brothel in Berlin faces possible cuts to her unemployment benefit under laws introduced this year.

Prostitution was legalised in Germany just over two years ago and brothel owners — who must pay tax and employee health insurance — were granted access to official databases of jobseekers.

The waitress, an unemployed information technology professional, had said that she was willing to work in a bar at night and had worked in a cafe.

She received a letter from the job centre telling her that an employer was interested in her ``profile`` and that she should ring them. Only on doing so did the woman, who has not been identified for legal reasons, realise that she was calling a brothel.

Under Germany`s welfare reforms, any woman under 55 who has been out of work for more than a year can be forced to take an available job — including in the sex industry — or lose her unemployment benefit. Last month German unemployment rose for the 11th consecutive month to 4.5 million, taking the number out of work to its highest since reunification in 1990.

The government had considered making brothels an exception on moral grounds, but decided that it would be too difficult to distinguish them from bars. As a result, job centres must treat employers looking for a prostitute in the same way as those looking for a dental nurse.

When the waitress looked into suing the job centre, she found out that it had not broken the law. Job centres that refuse to penalise people who turn down a job by cutting their benefits face legal action from the potential employer.

``There is now nothing in the law to stop women from being sent into the sex industry,`` said Merchthild Garweg, a lawyer from Hamburg who specialises in such cases. ``The new regulations say that working in the sex industry is not immoral any more, and so jobs cannot be turned down without a risk to benefits.``

Miss Garweg said that women who had worked in call centres had been offered jobs on telephone sex lines. At one job centre in the city of Gotha, a 23-year-old woman was told that she had to attend an interview as a ``nude model``, and should report back on the meeting. Employers in the sex industry can also advertise in job centres, a move that came into force this month. A job centre that refuses to accept the advertisement can be sued.

Tatiana Ulyanova, who owns a brothel in central Berlin, has been searching the online database of her local job centre for recruits.

``Why shouldn`t I look for employees through the job centre when I pay my taxes just like anybody else?`` said Miss Ulyanova.

Ulrich Kueperkoch wanted to open a brothel in Goerlitz, in former East Germany, but his local job centre withdrew his advertisement for 12 prostitutes, saying it would be impossible to find them.

Mr Kueperkoch said that he was confident of demand for a brothel in the area and planned to take a claim for compensation to the highest court. Prostitution was legalised in Germany in 2002 because the government believed that this would help to combat trafficking in women and cut links to organised crime.

Miss Garweg believes that pressure on job centres to meet employment targets will soon result in them using their powers to cut the benefits of women who refuse jobs providing sexual services.

``They are already prepared to push women into jobs related to sexual services, but which don`t count as prostitution,`` she said.

``Now that prostitution is no longer considered by the law to be immoral, there is really nothing but the goodwill of the job centres to stop them from pushing women into jobs they don`t want to do.``

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from the Hindustan Times, 2005-Mar-31, by Sidhi Chadha:

Now learn prostitution in school

A Diploma in Sex Trade? That will be among the several qualifications on offer when a government-sponsored school for prostitutes opens in the capital on Friday.

The move to encourage sex workers who are fully trained in their craft comes just days after the US threatened to impose sanctions unless the administration did something to regulate the flesh trade in the country.

Giving details of the scheme, Kamal Kishore, spokesperson for the Ministry of Human Resource & Development says only those who received training at the Institute for Carnal Studies (ICS) would be granted a license to operate legally. The government, he claims, would be providing the best infrastructure possible at the Institute.

``We have decided to hire sex workers with at least 10-12 years of experience as teachers. They will give students a first-hand account of how they made their way in the trade. Besides modern-day porn, the Institute will also have lessons from the Kamasutra so that lovemaking is pleasurable rather than being just about money,`` he says.

The girls will learn everything from seduction to handling finances. ``It will be an honour to teach. Besides giving the girls useful tips about sex, we will also tell them how to seduce clients and extract maximum money. I am glad that the government is finally thinking about our needs,`` says Kamala, one of those on the ICS faculty.

While the Institute will offer a basic two-year degree programme for just Rs 2000, there will be advanced courses for those wishing to specialise as high-society call girls. With a growing demand for same-sex partners, ICS also has an option six-month crash course in `Lesbian Relationships and Practices.` Special classes for gigolos could begin as early as next year.

``The students will get a lot of practical exposure. They will do a month-long internship in various red light areas of the country where they will practice what they have learnt. We also expect them to produce feedback from clients. The student who scores the highest in terms of client satisfaction will get a cash prize of Rs 1 lakh and also a chance to represent India at an international meet in Phuket, Thailand,`` says Kishore.

According to a senior official in the HRD Ministry, there could be a number of spin-offs from a bold initiative like this. ``Look, we have failed to clamp down on prostitution despite our best efforts in the past. Doesn`t it make better sense to open a school and bring the flesh trade out in the open? It will help us in many ways - first, prostitution will become a legitimate profession; the girls in the trade will no longer be looked down upon and ostracized from society. Second, ICS will produce highly trained individuals who will know all about safe sex, hygiene and the use of condoms. Our biggest hope is that the school will play a pivotal role in the fight against AIDS. Lastly, it is also our intention to eliminate pimps and others who exploit sex workers. Those found operating outside the purview of the ICS will be prosecuted,`` he says.

Application forms will be available from April 10 at select government offices. The forms can be also be downloaded from the ICS website (www.indianprostitute.org).

Re: # 362

amit,

... sorry, i ran out of tonic ........ gin and mango juice sets you on edge (please don`t laugh - that`s all i had)