Dusk

ntsyed,
Amen! Salaams to you too.

Subroto,
Kardesh is universal. :)

Re: # 161

dear dalchawal,

I`m relieved to know you would never dare to attack my family jewels. However, as per my disclaimer (No reference to my southern hemisphere intended...it would be purely the readers` imagination.) I was merely referring to mewajaat (almonds, cashews, etc).

Also, I`m glad to have something as wonderful as dal chawal in common with a fellow Pakistani.

:-)~~

Many Salaams to you!

Re #157 by dalchawal on May 18, 2005 5:15pm PT
``Ozer Kardesh,...``

Oops getting careless here birader.

ntsyed,
I would never dare to attack your family jewels. As for your diet of dal and chawal, kudos to you - we have much in common. :)

For the record (from my i-log of May 19, 2005). Thanks.

“...The words
One has
And shall
Perhaps
Will have
Till last
One breathes
Is what
One feels
From base
Of soul
If have
We any

And time
Indeed
Revocable
Privilege
But only
By will
Of God
And trust
In words
We speak
In here
Is never
Revocable
By man
By men
By God
At all
So strong
SO strong
Yet is
So frail
Fragile
To whims
Of man
And men

For sure
We seek
To know
To learn
Consume
Not blood
But spirit
At times
(If lucky)
Do find
That source
Outside
Of source
Inside
Of self
To know
Is all
Complete
And thus
Complete
Then whole
Is one
Inside…”

Re: # 156 by ozerkhalid

The utterance of desi women as ``ghee`` and celluloid ``tigresses`` will certainly provides a testosterone-fuelled male ilk with sporadic climactic ecstasy evidencing “a ceaseless gushing of the embarrassing kind” ?


Thank you for the gracious compliments and generous offer to assist you in your Quixotic exploit of the Bolly-Lolly-woodie-raising-feline-adventure.

However, with all due respect to you and your ghee-laced butting (read budding) ambition, I must decline this offer!

Apparently your youth is unfamiliar with the Mumtaz, Anjuman, Zeenat Aman, ilk of the Lolly-Bolly-woodie-risers of yester age. According to a prominent Pakistani satirist, when Anjuman once won an election of sorts in the NWFP province, she was faced with an allegation that she did not disclose all her assets. She innocently exclaimed she had already done that in her movies; how else one could imagine her to win a popular election. Then, he notes, she`s so respectful of her provincial male ilk that she never turn her back to them ;-)~~

The point is that the target audience has endured and lived through that torture not too long ago; perhaps hamidm2 can elaborate on the horrific nature of that torture.

Granted the testosterone driven handle-bar mouse-tached and charga stuffed bellied Pakis, and their `khuda janay nara kahan bandhtay hain` waisted Indian ilk are a distraught nation of a unique kind. However, I don`t think the punishment you suggest upon them fits the crime - it`s too cruel.

Bhai if our increasingly jihadi men could not be made to ``rise`` by the Gitmo ``well trained`` felines with allegedly every trick in the Kamasutra, then what chance do you think our ghee-filled mela maweshian has, especially in an apparent double-jeopardy scenario?

On the other hand, it might give some new ideas to MiriamK`s auntiejees to tie her off to their friend’s second cousin’s nephew. one by one as MiriamK angel slices and dices them with a chainsaw foreplay (and perhaps his final play) on wedding nights. Which poses another threat to start a trend in dressing the groom in red for the weddings; not to mention the Bobbitization of the Desi culture.


daalchawal a.k.a MakkahDoubleRoti bhai,

All this leads me to believe that the ``u`` is missing in your first two initials. :)

Ah-haaaaaaaa....so ``U`` are the culprit who`s being going for my nuts. (No reference to my southern hemisphere intended...it would be purely the readers` imagination.)

As for tahemd and goats...well...it`s a long story which I could not impart due to certain prevailing circumstances.

BTW, daalchawal is my favorite meal which I love to devour any chance I get :-)~~

Ozer:

I second #157. You were exposed to some very tough critics and you bore it well. Now time to consult the muse again, sit down at the laptop, write another piece, and post it anew. I look forward to reading more of your work :).

Ozer Kardesh,
Don`t let the collection of jealous and myopic mongrels distract you from your talent. You are truly a gifted and talented writer to visit our neighbourhood. Many of us find you a refreshingly new and lingustically advanced innovator. Please disregard some of the venom that these obviously misguided miscreants have splashed in your direction. Keep writing.
Thanks,
Wa la mazmoon al kamal wa ikhwana ul kameen.

Re: # 152

NT SYED and Miriam K

Both your posts were witty and drop-dead hilarious that they impaired my tummy with ceaseless laughter. Now let me attempt to reciprocate that favor, in my own enfeabled way: I eagerly await your respective feedback.

To the question : Do you think a chick flick with kicks but no licks can bust the box office bimbo feats ?

The answer is yes. Let me pretend to be a film director. I am driven to cast South Asian female felines at war. What could be more arousing for us testosterone-fuelled males than witnessing beady-eyed Bolly-Lolly wood “bimbettes lipo-suctioning” the living daylights out of each other ? Taking pot-shots at their botoxed-Barbie rivals ?

Catfights come naturally to filmdom’s actresses, like arranged marriages come naturally to Machiavellian match-making aunties. Male actors maintain the “bhai-bhai” camouflage, their opposite gender hone a `Bollywood Bi&ching` beyond belief. The blood-baths are non-ending: Younger nubile actresses with candy-floss roles of dancing around trees, rolling-down hills with grass revealing a tad bit of sari….now lets change the script a little...

Miriam and NT Syed inch your imaginations toward a meatier plot. Ozer`s plot. I`m filming a “Desi Charlie`s Angel”: going for the full-throttle bagging super-duper “jhatkas” galore. Ek, do, teen and here comes out the desi female fighting machines. Steamy scratching hair-pulling scenes have our towering “iconettes” crumble into mud-slinging mania. Unsullied by the venomous outbursts our vixens, with their faded concealer fight to be summoned by the most dexterous plastic surgeons.

In the wrestling ring, salacious gossips are settled as we have biting brouhaha between Kareena and Bipasha, wanting to finish where they left off in Ajnabee , Lara Dutta –vs- Priyanka Chopra continue a spate of punches from a much-awaited sequel for Andaaz, Karisma and Raveena`s long-running feud over who can wear more mascara and Manisha Koirala and Ash venting their spleen on who will be the first to get that tummy-tuck. Rani Mukerji can unleash her pent-up estrogen against Sunitaji in an aim to win the heart of Govinda.

A digression to the plot is necessary: here I intensify the circus by bringing in Miriam K`s aptly described “ghee-smeared aunty jees” with augmented bicep girth who jump into the ring merely for heightening the shock factor. Here is where the celluloids sashay in with their clinging saris giving all these tiny anorexics a run for their rupees.

The ``aunteez`` flex their enviable flab and crumple these skinny divas into desperation. Sans make-up, sans pedicure, these sixty-somethings shock entranced audiences. The “bimbette” feathers are scrambled under the heavyweight of our celluloid “ranis”. Raking in “pungas” with the “phopos” and “mumanis” never was a good idea eh NT Syed and Miriam ?

In the audience unsavory “paan” chewing “peindus” are adoring every nano-second.
No more exploited dancing prowess. No more villains with moustaches. Industry veterans suggest an image transformation. No more sustained lycra-clad, teenybopper roles. The clout wielded by our horizontally challenged aunty jees reigns supreme.

Their roll-call for gossip is winner du jour. Let them take over Bolly-Lolly wood. Ntsyed here I have shown you the licks (paratha hungry aunts) and their wielding “kicks”. 60+ “Ma Baker” female Dakus who cremate other “Kuttees” and say “main tery khoon peee jaoungee” .
Now that is what I call a real script.

The utterance of desi women as ``ghee`` and celluloid ``tigresses`` will certainly provides a testosterone-fuelled male ilk with sporadic climactic ecstasy evidencing “a ceaseless gushing of the embarrassing kind” ?

Will it not ?

Re: # 154

NT SYED and Miriam K

Both your posts were witty and drop-dead hilarious that they impaired my tummy with ceaseless laughter. Now let me attempt to reciprocate that favor, in my own enfeabled way: I eagerly await your respective feedback.

To the question : Do you think a chick flick with kicks but no licks can bust the box office bimbo feats ?

The answer is yes. Let me pretend to be a film director. I am driven to cast South Asian female felines at war. What could be more arousing for us testosterone-fuelled males than witnessing beady-eyed Bolly-Lolly wood “bimbettes lipo-suctioning” the living daylights out of each other ? Taking pot-shots at their botoxed-Barbie rivals ?

Catfights come naturally to filmdom’s actresses, like arranged marriages come naturally to Machiavellian match-making aunties. Male actors maintain the “bhai-bhai” camouflage, their opposite gender hone a `Bollywood Bi&ching` beyond belief. The blood-baths are non-ending: Younger nubile actresses with candy-floss roles of dancing around trees, rolling-down hills with grass revealing a tad bit of sari….now lets change the script a little...

Miriam and NT Syed inch your imaginations toward a meatier plot. Ozer`s plot. I`m filming a “Desi Charlie`s Angel”: going for the full-throttle bagging super-duper “jhatkas” galore. Ek, do, teen and here comes out the desi female fighting machines. Steamy scratching hair-pulling scenes have our towering “iconettes” crumble into mud-slinging mania. Unsullied by the venomous outbursts our vixens, with their faded concealer fight to be summoned by the most dexterous plastic surgeons.

In the wrestling ring, salacious gossips are settled as we have biting brouhaha between Kareena and Bipasha, wanting to finish where they left off in Ajnabee , Lara Dutta –vs- Priyanka Chopra continue a spate of punches from a much-awaited sequel for Andaaz, Karisma and Raveena`s long-running feud over who can wear more mascara and Manisha Koirala and Ash venting their spleen on who will be the first to get that tummy-tuck. Rani Mukerji can unleash her pent-up estrogen against Sunitaji in an aim to win the heart of Govinda.

A digression to the plot is necessary: here I intensify the circus by bringing in Miriam K`s aptly described “ghee-smeared aunty jees” with augmented bicep girth who jump into the ring merely for heightening the shock factor. Here is where the celluloids sashay in with their clinging saris giving all these tiny anorexics a run for their rupees.

The ``aunteez`` flex their enviable flab and crumple these skinny divas into desperation. Sans make-up, sans pedicure, these sixty-somethings shock entranced audiences. The “bimbette” feathers are scrambled under the heavyweight of our celluloid “ranis”. Raking in “pungas” with the “phopos” and “mumanis” never was a good idea eh NT Syed and Miriam ?

In the audience unsavory “paan” chewing “peindus” are adoring every nano-second.
No more exploited dancing prowess. No more villains with moustaches. Industry veterans suggest an image transformation. No more sustained lycra-clad, teenybopper roles. The clout wielded by our horizontally challenged aunty jees reigns supreme.

Their roll-call for gossip is winner du jour. Let them take over Bolly-Lolly wood. Ntsyed here I have shown you the licks (paratha hungry aunts) and their wielding “kicks”. 60+ “Ma Baker” female Dakus who cremate other “Kuttees” and say “main tery khoon peee jaoungee” .
Now that is what I call a real script.

The utterance of desi women as ``ghee`` and celluloid ``tigresses`` will certainly provides a testosterone-fuelled male ilk with sporadic climactic ecstasy evidencing “a ceaseless gushing of the embarrassing kind” ?

Will it not ?

Re: # 153

Hamid M

Maybe, just try and fathom the thought, the ``fan club`` have momentarily vanished into thin air. Could you exercise such a vanishing act yourself ?

Purely out of public interest amigo ?

peanut gallery .......

........ so what`s the verdict ? ........ is this ``article`` hogwash or what ? ......... and what happened to ozer`s imaginary fan club ?

Beejay:

Although I would be hard-pressed to live up to such effusive praise, I do thank you for the kind words. That was very gracious of you. So gracious in fact that I’m even going to let the “for a woman” comment slide ;).

Regarding the “unspunky” name; you know I’ve been heckling my parents about that for years but to no avail :).

Umm…but you do realize that it’s a pseudonym right? I mean who in their right minds logs onto these things with their real names, excepting for Temporal that is ;).

Temporal:

About a “hundred” posts ago you’d mentioned your i-log and so my innate curiosity got the better of me and I took a peak. If I may say so without making you blush to the ears, that’s a prolific body of work. I feel entirely deprived to have not been a part of it. I plan on going through it but not “road-runner” style you know. I will do so at a leisurely pace. The couple of pieces that I did read at random I liked (very much) :).

tahmed:

kyuN subah subah jhagRa karwanay per tulau hu`aye ho?

that caveat was a premptive defense aimed at other readers in this public space who may be humour impaired:) ... definitely not aimed at beejay

t

temporal: You address a post to beejay and add that it is ``not for the humour-impaired ``!! Isnt this a contradiction??

beejay:

your thoughtful modesty is an epitome of rewritten history at its most efficacious...and admirable in a certain sense...while not drawing attention you manage to draw attention to #141...

caveat: not for the humour-impaired

t