Hole walli Haveli

It was a nice read, these maumanis should be taught a lesson :P

PS: After reading 75% of the story I came to know that narrator is a boy.

climax is outstanding!!!

climax is outstanding!!!

climax is outstanding!!!

So I happened to read the explanations given to the wrong titles used in relationships now(BEEJAY, July 15)... so I am posting a fresh message. I agree such things do happen. Children address their great uncles as `uncles` etc... but unless such things are accompanied by explanations, they reduce the credibility of the story.

Interesting piece. Sorry, but I couldnt help but notice a few flaws. For example... how are dadi and chotte mamoo related to eachother? Initially it seems it should be chote chacha... and you have bungled on the title to be used for an uncle... Then some explanation comes by way of `chote mamoo moving in after the death of Manju`s father and his elder brother.` Of course dadi is alone so, your mother`s brother, your chote mamoo moves in with her, ostensibly to take care of her. But towards the end, the mumani refers to dadi as chote mamoo`s mother.
Hello Fatimah! Please give the story a stronger premise by redefining the relationships.
Tariq Siddiqi.

P.S. I enjoyed the climax, thoroughly. No puns intended.

the very first piece i got to read at chowk.... very interesing and well written!

Oh God this was hilarious.. haha.. I bet Dadee chuckled from heaven puttin her dentures to good use.

Hilarious :)

Thoroughly enjoyed this simple and mirthful story.

Thanks

good piece of writting
it has flow and elements which can hold on different audinec... but for me very specifically the lines which touched were:

“Death comes,” she said to me. “It comes, like the only moment of truth in your life and you have no way of fighting it, because you know that your time is up. You accept it because you have no choice.”.

a very beautiful acceptance of death, which i think lost somewhere but even these one line is carrying the criude reality which MAY be teh author reflect via crude dynamics of relations; could be very good mataphor;
If i may comment on this story then its about teh acceptance and living with death

only my perception not a judgement

take care all of you

Fatimah..a very good read! very fluid lines

keep writing

This was really quite lovely. Poignant and so well written.

yes but i bet mumani jan had the last laugh - sicne the house was on her name

Thank you all for the interacts. Perhaps, I can answer questions at a later point. Right now, i feel that it will define the story more or only serve to demystify certain complex cultural nuances.

A good suave read in canvas of urbanity. And more interesting to read as told by Manju :-) and I have seen the picnic spots Paradise Inn and Hawks Bay recently so can rehearse the funny gnomes observed. As I told my mate that I would visit Gadani/HawksBay . She gazed at me and said..``Kali Ho Jayo gi?`` I said..Phir kiya Hua Abhi Konsi..? She said..Phir Bhi.. But the thought of `Fair n Lovely` as pointed by her didn`t came in my mind. May be these are objects of interest of teen inclusives though it is a cosmetically ineffective ointment.

Well the story seems to belonged to a middle classs family with pervertions in relationships because of heritage and its effects on kins specially kids.

hehe...interesting revenge...nicely done!