Lost in Port du Orlean, France

Re: # 9
Grrrr
What I meant to say is: I agree it`s humorous in many ways, some intended some quite unintended..

Re: # 8
I agree it`s humorous, some intended and some quite unintended.

Rizwana,

I read this a second time, and I am feeling a LOT more benign toward it this time. I can now detect an undercurrent of humor in this, a faint undercurrent – but it’s there nevertheless! I believe that if you can develop it a little bit more, you have great potential – if not as a travelogue chronicler, then as a dabbler in humor.

I also like the fact that you do not mind caricaturing yourself, as depicted in the obviously exaggerated episode you described therein! Not everyone has the ability to laugh at oneself to make others laugh! I guess a little bit of laugh is on me (and perhaps the other few interactors) who missed that and took it at its face value.

For all we know, the next Erma Bombeck may be a South Asian from California! Wishing you super well (we need all the humor we can get, especially around this crowd).

Sincerely,
Beej.

I second Irfan`s comments. If you are an example of the teachers one finds in US public schools, its no wonder that:
i) Education majors have even lower SAT scores than PE majors.
ii) US public schools are so bad.

Have you considerd taking a remedial English class? Perhaps then you would avoid such howlers as the following:
``that made us run smoke circles for most of the day.`` Do you mean ``run around in circles?``
``Our first experience ordering café au lait follows help us make the observation.`` Perhaps you meant ``Our first experience ordering café au lait helped us to make the following observation`` and even then its tortured English!
``the River Loire, which snakes through the industrial area then sways and coils.`` Ummmm, don`t look now but I don`t think that rivers sway, coil yes, sway no.

And what is it with a 69 word long sentence?
``France boasts of charming towns where masses walk to get their fresh fruits and vegetables, fresh baguettes from the small neighborhood bakeries, run by mom and pop style operation, every day and sometimes even more then once a day, or visit a church or cathedral then sit back in the cafes and over a strong espresso with a piece of bread on the side savor the history surrounding them.``
Where the heck did you learn to write! Break this up into three sentences at the minimum!

Sorry, this ``essay`` must receive a failing grade. I`m afraid that you`ll have to stay after school and rewrite it!

Re: # 5,

Yes it has always been famous, but I was talking about famous in a Subcontinental context. Ask the common man in the streets in Pakistan or India if he knows what Mardi Gras, Jazz, Voodoo, Creole or Cajun is and you will get blank looks. Ask them what Katrina is and they will inform you that it is the hurricane that recently devastated New Orleans.

Regards,
Irfan.

Re: # 3
``...New Orleans now made famous by Katrina``

I thought that the city was already famous for its Mardi Gras celebrations (and not to mention, its Cajun and Creole cuisine, the historic French Quarters, jazz, Voodoo...)

Cappuccino:
1. ``Espresso coffee mixed or topped with steamed milk or cream`` (Source: dictionary.com).
2. ``Cappuccino is an Italian beverage, prepared with espresso and milk. A cappuccino is generally defined as 1/3 espresso, 1/3 steamed milk and 1/3 frothed milk. Another definition would call for 1/3 espresso and 2/3 microfoam`` (en.wikipedia.org).

Caffè Americano:
``Espresso and hot water`` (Starbucks.com).

Cappuccino: ``Americano style coffee drink with foamy cream``??

Hi,

As someone who has been living in Paris for over two years now, I`m having a hard time following your story. The Alps are in France (part of them anyway), but not in or anywhere near Paris.

It`s not Port du Orleans, it is Port d`Orleans. It is one of the `gates` of Paris. There is a ring road around Paris, the Peripherique, which has 12 exits into and out of Paris, each of them named Port de xyz (Port de Vincennes, Port de Clignancourt, Port d`Italie etc.). Furthermore, there is no small town outside of Paris called Port du Orleans or Port d`Orleans, as it literally means ``door of Orleans``. In addition, the Loire river does not pass anywhere near Paris. The only river I`ve seen in Paris is the Seine.

I suspect you went to a city called Orleans (after which is named New Orleans now made famous by Katrina). The Loire river does pass by Orleans.

As far as English not being spoken by French people, that is both true and false. Depends on the age and education of the person you are speaking to. If it is someone who is in his/her late 30s or above, or a teenager, then chances are they do not speak English. On the other hand if you speak to a professional-looking person in their 20s or early 30s then they will probably speak English.

For someone who has grown up in America and who has been teaching in Southern Calif for 10 years and living there for 20 (from your profile), and who somehow visits the Gymkhana to work out regularly, your English is ATROCIOUS. Your sentences are at best a discordant assault on the brain and at worst more blabber than coherent prose. Among the many examples:

``The tourist office 2 kilometer of walking to the middle of historical town center, very few cars venture.``

Actually one of the things I am laughing at here is how you purportedly showed off your `hot` body in an attempt to make the man realize how indignant you were at the cream in your coffee. Bear in mind, you`re in Europe, where everyone from a child of 5 years to a grandma of 70 rides bikes, rollerblades and runs; where people eat healthy as a rule, not as an exception, and are in very good shape one and all. For someone who is in her 30s/40s, I found your description of your `epitome of good health` body and your flaunting it to be in bad taste to say the least.

Oh and one last thing; ``the simplicity of French food``???!!! WHAT France did you visit lady? Did you actually try any of the `simple` French foods from a real restaurant? Or did you gauge the simplicity just from the things available in the stores? Hint: Those are ingredients, you must mix and cook to obtain food.

Regards,
Irfan.

Let me get this straight – you made no effort to prepare for the different language that you would be immersing yourself in – you booked a sparse place, like a cheapskate, by choice – you were too cheap to eat in a restaurant so wanted to buy stuff from the supermarket – then finally persuaded (probably by a smarter spouse) to pay for coffee, you complain that it has CREAM in it – and you have the gall to allude to your desi roots! Lahol!

[The language barrier creates a situation with lots of holes as the ‘lost in translation’ from French to English, meaning resulted in a ‘get lost. See the back alleys.’]
You realize, of course, that one of the best ways to see – really see – a country is by getting lost in there!

[Facing the teenagers ‘chillin’ in the balmy weather with a friendly smile and a pleading look we try to explain. With every moment it is getting harder to understand what they meant, it is not their fault for they tell us exactly where to go and how to go --but in French.]
You can only appreciate such kids – perhaps even feel thankful for them – by contrasting against certain other kids wearing gang insignia – as in certain other parts of the world!

rizwana:

i try not to be too picky and go for the content of the article, but i hope that you will take this in the constructive spirit it is offered in. i`m just touching on a few points here:

1. having watched ``Casablanca`` enough times to take a very long break from it, Humphrey Bogart`s character says, ``We`ll always have Paris.``

2. for those not knowing much French, it`s understandable, but it is ``vous parlez anglais``

3. when describing the people of France in English, it is ``the French`` -- using French without the definite article indicates the language.

this was meant to be said of your previous article as well, but careful proofreading and editing will make your articles much easier to read.

Hope your travels were pleasurable and do share more!
--ana