What will I teach my daughter?

#6, fyi there are some really gorgeous south indians around (eg aish rai) , including madrasis..

wow! so your daughter`s an atheist already? too cool...

btw, cute baby

#19, My good friend jang is in a usurping mode. :)

Axe Sahib, #15, {``If man can have upto 4 wives, why can’t a Muslim woman have at least half as many Hubbies? Why is life so sucky for Muslim women?``}

Oh! Sorry I forgot to answer your questions regarding multiple marriages. Well, polyandry has been proven to be a disaster for women. I think there are horrifying stories about women married to multiple men (usually brothers) in Ladakh and other areas. These women run away often to become the additional wife of a polygamous Muslim. They tend to age faster, become run down, and don`t really enjoy the ordeal - contrary to what the feminazis would lead you to believe.

Now let`s discuss polygamy. I think that the people who used it were primarily motivated by the need to multiply their own numbers - Muslims and Mormons come to mind. This desperate measure was necessitated by wars and premature deaths of many men. When polygamy became a source of hedonistic pleasure among men, it rapidly died out and frankly became old-fashioned, expensive, and an embarrassment. Today, other than rich, ostentatious, and stupid Arab sheikhs and some die-hards in northern Arizona and southern Utah, hardly anyone practices polygamy. Civilized westerners and well-to-do Indians have turned to having mistresses as the solution for the urge to have multiple female partners.

Why is life so sucky for Muslim women? The answer could be ``Why is life so sucky for Muslim men?`` When all the emphasis is on banning thiings, ostracizing people, declaring all fun stuff to be forbidden, hiding beauty, controlling desires, extinguishing hope and frowning upon happiness, clapping, dancing, music, pictures, then it is not surprising that life can be sucky for both men AND women under extremist Islam or puritannical Christianity.

Re: # 18
I dont know whether there is a typo in your post or you were poking fun. Its ``sania mirza`` and not ``sania mishra``.

hazmat,

pls consider sania mishra as a role model.

#15 by Kulharee on September 29, 2005 1:12pm PT
{``...Why ain’t there any Muftis, any Moulanas, any Khalifees. Where are they? And what about Bigamy? If man can have upto 4 wives, why can’t a Muslim woman have at least half as many Hubbies? Why is life so sucky for Muslim women? If that’s not enough, she is constantly reminded not to worry, as Daddy will always be there to protect her. ``}

Axe Sahib,
Very good questions that you axed? :)

Why no female muftis, maulanas, or Khalifas? For the same reason that there ain`t no Popes, Archbishops, and Presidents. Almost all the women heads of government (except Tansu Chiller, Maggy Thatcher, Golda Meier, and some others) got their opportunity because of their husband or father. That`s a shame. The reason is male domination and perception (even among their fellow females) that women can`t lead. So, it is up to this generation to create an environment that can accept female muftis and khalifas. God forbid, I never want to see a female Mulla - just as I don`t want to see a male Mullah.

Daddies protecting their little daughters is something we cannot and should not change. It is no different than mothers feeling that their sons can do no wrong. But daddies should encourage their daughters to be educated, self-confident, sulf-sufficient, and most of all tolerant, feminine, and compassionate. Please see my post about what I would teach my daughter. :)

Azmat,
This is a very important topic and I am glad that you have the courage to share your views, concerns, and hopes with us. I would try to teach my daughter:

That she is a very special person, who is the product of love, and a welcome source of hope for the future.
That she needs to be educated both in formal training and in seeing the world to understand it and improve it.
That she is destined to be a full partner in how this world operates and improves.
That she does not need to consider herself inferior or superior to other humans.
That the best way to accomplish success is through cooperation with ALL other human beings.
That honesty, compassion, generosity, and tolerance are just as important as success, pride, self-sufficiency, and loyalty.
That most men are well-wishers and will respect her on their own, without her having to hit them on the head or force them to ``admit`` their respect. What matters most is how she conducts herself and people will respond accordingly.

Re: # 12

Chauhan Sahib, I don’t buy it. In theory women can hold all the most powerful positions (Nabi, Imam, Khalifa, etc.) but in reality that’s not the case. Why ain’t there any Muftis, any Moulanas, any Khalifees. Where are they? And what about Bigamy? If man can have upto 4 wives, why can’t a Muslim woman have at least half as many Hubbies? Why is life so sucky for Muslim women? If that’s not enough, she is constantly reminded not to worry, as Daddy will always be there to protect her.

#13, How about negotiating your interpretation that femazism replace all the world`s major religiouns and that all men be placed in cages where feminazis can watch and laugh at the rapes as they issue visas and bags of money to the abused men?

Re: # 11

Here we go again, the reheated former drag queen begging for attention....

FOR THE RECORD:

I will not be responding to any futher posts from mumbaichick and nyetsahb.

#5, Kulharee {``My son asked me the same question, and let me paraphrase it for you: “Daddy, why can only a man lead a prayer? Are Muslims worshiping God or a Penis?”. What should I tell him? ``}

Muslims are worshiping God. Women are always welcome to lead prayers. It`s only some old men with disappearing organs who insist that only men can lead prayers, or for that matter anythiing. And no, one does not need to grow a beard to prove leadership.

#10, {``showing great disrespect for the women who are negotiating interpretations that are hostile to them. What is your daughter to understand? ``}

So, that`s what it`s called? ``Negotiating interpretations.`` What an insidious attempt at spinning nonsense! The main thing that is hostile to real women`s interests is feminazism that turns many men and most real women off. Mr. Azmat`s daughter will understand that her daddy really loved her so much that he sheltered her from a life of strife and ridicule by keeping her away from feminazis.

Writer,

I was struck by your attempts to delegitimize the various stances that women working within and outside of the ``Muslim`` world hold. I am struck that on one hand you are interested in fighting for your daughter to be as fully evolved as is possible and on the other hand, you are, by your very example, showing great disrespect for the women who are negotiating interpretations that are hostile to them. What is your daughter to understand? That her father knows best? And what have you taught her then?

regards,

confusing article on a sensitive topic ...
... you`re going to get butchered

Azmat, {``So in terms of being leaders women already have an important role; to shape the moral education of their offspring. I suspect that those women who are looking for a leadership role in the community are interested in political power. In other words they want to satisfy their egotistical desire for power within a community. True leaders of the community are always recognized by others for their work. If women want to take on such a role then like mother Theresa they ought to be prepared to work within the system.``}

Very touching article and congratulations on becoming a dad. Your daughter is a cutie and you are too for thinking about her future already. There are many women (and men) who can be role models for our daughters (and sons). Mother Theresa, of course, is among the best of role models. The important thing to remember is that we need to empower our children (male AND female) with education, confidence, good nature, and compassion. Your apprehension about feminists is justified. Good luck in all your noble intentions.

I apologize for the cruelty of some Chowkies here. :)