August 2003

Often people have had their cultures combined with that of others find themselves lost, confused.. of nowhere.. yet other people get up stronger and are a perfect combination of diversity..

#108 by aruna #108

[Re: # 105

Wow-....I didnt know there were Pakistani Hindus! ]

Yeah, they are on exhibit at the Lahore Zoo. And a few stuffed Sardars are in the Karachi Museum.

Re: # 105

Wow- thats a good variety of friends. I didnt know there were Pakistani Hindus! - shows how much I know huh? Its great that we can leave those mental blocks behind. I feel like it`s an achievement to convince yourself that things are not what they seem or that people or parents seem to think they seem.

Re: # 106

You kidding me? Pakistani rock rocks! It`s one of my fav types of music, and every Pakistani I know can wield a guitar like nothing else!- and yes. Nirvana was popular:)

I can relate somewhat . I spent most of my childhood and adolescence in Bahrain in International type schools, during that time I developed a serious dislike for the local Paki community. I grew to despise local community functions (hi-lites of which, included exhilrating performances of patriotic songs by popular Punjabi folk singer Jawad Ahmed) where I couldn`t talk to the girls or do anything remotely entertaining. I was much happier getting hammered at the homes of gora friends.So you can imagine my horror when it turned out that we were to return to Pakistan and I was convinced I`d have to take a shotgun to the roof of my mouth within six months.
But surprisingly enough when I actually came here I found that Paki`s were`nt the joyless bastards I had encountered throughout my life thus far and that they liked to get wasted just as much as anyone else and some of them even listened to Nirvana. All in all its a good thing I came back and experienced life as a Pakistani in Pakisan. I`d probably appreciate it even more if I could just get the fuck outta here. ;)

so i`m not the only one feels like you! going to pakistan to complete my secondary education may have been in some cases the best and worst for me, and coming to england to live here is or has been the best or the worse for me, but somehow i feel i`m mote rounded then i am to my peers in pakistan. one of my best friends is in indian, another close friend is a pkistani hindu who is more than a sister that a friend. and a childhood mate from heaven who can be hell at times wose black! and have no qualms with my assortment of friends. though my parents do feel slightly uncomfortable when i meet my childhood friend!

Re: # 102

aah- but wouldn`t that be like stressing on the dramaticism of that statement and hence weakening it for the reader?
The title was weak- I agree. I sort of wanted to stress that this was written 2 years ago. Things have changed again- like they always do.

Re: # 101

Details would have been great- but I don`t know how interesting a read it would have made to an average reader. I tried to strike a balance- and throw in some embellishments.
Maybe I`ll deal with individual aspects in the future. But you know, there are some things that people go through collectively, and can relate to better as a statement, than when it is broken up into the specifics. It becomes harder for people to relate to specifics, because specifics are individual experiences, and while it`s interesting to read about someone in detail, it does nothing to get your own thought process started.

This is a nice write-up, clearly genuine. Most people here can identify with one or other part of it – as evidenced by the content of several interacts.

Exposure to a variety of cultures can open up opportunities for learning more about others – and expand one’s horizons. Not everybody takes advantage of such an opportunity – not everybody HAS the ability to do so – sometimes people can shrink back into their own – especially so when they are surrounded by what they perceive to be a hostile environment.

Parents try to do the best that they can for their children, given the circumstances and constraints that they live in and are subject to.

Neither the teaser line nor the title appeal to me too much – probably the reasons I got here late – Kraft cheese does not have the same value for every one – given the contents, you could probably come up with something more interesting. My choice for the title would have been something more attention-grabbing – like – “That Spit on the Bus Window…” or something along those titles – because that happens to be one of the few images that remains!

Or may be it`s that curmudgeon in me....

re: Amrita # 98

That could be summarized as: ``I (think I) have grown up (because I am older than six).``

As a reader, I would have liked to see a greater focus on the actual, often difficult, inner work of growing up. Greater attention to the evolution of the author`s thoughts, desires, and conflicts - the differing contexts and processes, over time, of making life`s choices and arriving at fateful (often unbeknowth to oneself) decisions.

This inner aspect is what makes everyone unique and interesting. The only distinguishing feature of this write up appeared to be the names of places and people.

Re: # 98

Amen

Re: # 88
kidbeegorilla - i dont know how old you are but i think both aruna and i are still in our twenties and cant predict what its going to be like in another 10 or 20 years.

imo at this precise moment in time, what you`re talking about is tangential to what aruna has expressed in her essay and her replies to various people and to what i feel myself. here`s how it works for people who grew up in multiple universes:

there`s a family universe where things are the way things are due to various compulsions. you act a certain way, dress a certain way, talk a certain way or any permutation thereof when you meet up with family. then there are your peers at school: there is a certain school/class culture no matter where you grow up - it might relate to the way you dress or the way you spend your hours after school or the friends you make, etc. then there is the culture or setting within which that school operates: the city where you grow up. each city has its own rules and values which may not be the same as the ones prevalent in your family. i am a south indian who grew up in delhi. everything from language to mores were different at home and outside. then there is your hometown - if you come from a family like mine then everyone in your hometown knows who you are even if you only show up for the holidays once every year. so there`s the whole izzat ka sawaal that informs your every move in your hometown. then, as everyone who`s lived in india can testify, there`s a class issue - some people are considered not up to your weight by god-only-knows-who and no one is interested in what you feel about the issue personally. in some families or places, there might even be a caste issue.

college isnt just a place for experimentation. its the place you go to and meet people you have not had the opportunity to meet before. by the time you exit, you`re not the same person who went in - if you`ve taken advantage of your privileges that is. if you`ve been to college outside your own country then the opportunities offered multiply. because you`re meeting people who dont have the same baggage as you carry. this is something of a personal obervation btw - i`ve been college in india as well and it was amazing how my class was filled with people who knew each other or of each other. we were all from the same socio-economic background and had all been to the same schools, knew the same people, had partied or holidayed at the same places and this to me was incredible in a country of a billion people.

my friends from college here are white, black, hispanic, asian and european: we each come from disparate backgrounds and were brought up very differently. we disagree on a number of issues, often vehemently so, but we are old enough to undertand that we dont have to agree with each other all the time to hang out and have fun or to depend on each other. again, i dont know what it;ll be like in 20 or 30 years. as aruna implies, there are no easy or ready answers to every question.

right now, this is the way it is.

Re: # 85

Re: # 81

I did have those curiosities in India too- I desperately wanted to see the inside of a church and a mosque for example- but so many people in my city knew my family, and rest assured, news travels fast. I think I managed to visit the church, but I was so nervous.

ROFL.. nervous to goto a church.. I felt the same the first time I was cutting classes to goto a movie, first time on alcohol and the first time on a porn movie in a friend`s house (what we used to call ``BF`` :-) ). The feeling of getting caught or to be seen by someone who knows me.. And I never imagined people would feel nervous to visit a place of worship... Those places are supposed to be good.. aren`t they??. LOL..

Re: # 85
I went to a Catholic school, so I went to our school chapel much more often than I went to temples!

Aruna

Good enough. Done with intelligence, personal stories can shine light on the general human condition.