Filtered Posts

When Vagina met Viagra Farzana #45,
You are so smooth. I agree with you that you consider people to be a sum of their parts and not a reduction to some common denominator such as the VM fanatics would want. I realize that you don`t see vaginas for their adult entertainment value. However, the latest trend by women to customize the appearance of their vaginas with all sorts of embellishments is amusing. Have you noticed the rings in the clitoris, the various tattoos, and styles of vegetation - landing strips, hearts, the clean look, etc. ?

Finally, two negatives do make a positive:
{`` What I was conveying when I said that not all vaginas are not the same was ...``} :)

Speaking of convent jokes, did you hear about the three nuns who were talking about the new handsome Fr. Marcus? ``I went into his room and found his hidden supply of condoms,`` said the first nun. ``You know what I did?,`` inquired the second nun, ``I punctured holes with a needle in every one of them.`` The third nun fainted.

When Vagina met Viagra Farzana,
I finally gathered up the courage to read your article. The V&V heading was rather intimidating and I certainly did not want to enhance my insecurities. But after your gracious visit to my thread on UP, I felt that I had a special invitation directly from an author whom I have always admired. The article is indeed both daring and well-articulated. I like your median position in that, while still from Venus, you don`t drink your own bathwater as most feminists tend to. I admire your courage and objectivity for the following:
{``But I did not think that ‘my vagina’ was like everyone else’s vagina. Making it into an all-purpose thing did not work for me.``}

Believe me, as a semi gynecologist (I happen to be a professional in almost the same category); all vaginas are not the same. If they were, the adult entertainment industry would be in dire straits. How many people, except some Indians hooked on redundancy and the die-hard Humphrey Bogart fanatics, watch the same movie over and over again? Varieties of shapes, sizes, and protrusions save us from the ultimate insult - ``Seen one, seen `em all.`` Leaving the discussion of shark fins to the Discovery Channel, I just want to acknowledge that your flexibility is established. Farzana, you can write well no matter what the topic. Thanks for the entertaining dialogue.

Khamosh Pani Crosses the Border Noisily What brings old friends such as stuka, sadna, omar, HP, and others together is the fallout from this movie in India. I support the right of everyone in every country to watch any movie - I am totally against any form of censorship. No one, including the author, is suggesting a ban on the movie. Folks are just worried about the consequences of providing ammunition to right wing RSS/BJP/VHP/SP/JS/BD types. While the movie may depict Muslim fundos in Pakistan, those who will pay the price are the Muslims of Gujarat, Maharashtra, or Madhya Pradesh. For some reason the saying ``Dhobhi se bas na chala to gadhay ke kan maRoR diye.`` applies to these provinces. My apologies for anyone who takes the gadha reference personally. I consider it to be a noble animal that has borne too many burdens - but that`s another forum. :)

Khamosh Pani Crosses the Border Noisily sadna #61,
When I find myself somewhat in agreement with what you said, it is time to return to UP.
Well, I find myself somewhat in agreement with what you said.

Saint (aka Gujjubania, aka Gujju) #62,
Do I notice a lil bit of jealousy on your part? If you were not the pitiful adolescent popping up on every UP thread requesting service, one might take your remarks semi-seriously. :)

Omar #63,
{``arjun man give it a rest -- 150K times 8 is how much fido ?``}

Funniest line of the forum - I couldn`t stop laughing. HA HA HA.

Khamosh Pani Crosses the Border Noisily nb #59,
You have every right and an excellent memory.

Khamosh Pani Crosses the Border Noisily Veeresh #42,
{``And Omar is playing, ofcourse, John Chiardi, or atleast, he thinks so, interpreting India for Indians. ``}

Well, Veeresh, someone has to let you know that you are drinking your own bathwater, mistaking it for Evian. :) I think you should thank Omar.

Khamosh Pani Crosses the Border Noisily Veeresh #42,
{``The usual hyperbole laced synecdoche from Salim and Omar ...``}

Now come on, the supreme and abusive practitioner of insidious metonymy is calling my response synecdoche? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! I was just reminding you that you should not indulge in pontificating about Yousuf`s generalizations when you are such a blatant example of whirlwind synecdoche yourself.

One look at a moving Pakistani car and you can read the ``Made in India`` disclaimer on the rotating tires traveling at 60 mph. You notice the absence of cleavage in Lahore and deduce the gender demographics of the country. Parting with a few paisas (hardly enough to cover the fare) and you boast about high-tipping Indians. Being forced into a ``spread eagle`` position by cops and you start whining about high-handed security men. Noticing one worn out turban in Nankana Sahib and you surmise that half of Pakistani Punjab consists of Sikhs and Sikh wannabees. Having your rectum scrutinized by one ``tall and fair`` customs official in Lahore causes you to develop diarrhea. Absence of adequate TP for Indian visitors sends you into a gallant defense of western civilization. Need I say more?

Khamosh Pani Crosses the Border Noisily nb #45,
Is your ``Christmas cheer for all`` as genuine as your ``congratulations to Veeresh?`` You remembered my ``alleged`` thrashing of the hunter and Omar offering me a job at Dawn!
I am amazed at the frequency with which you trail me from thread to thread and forum to forum.
JahaN meN jata huN woNhiN chali aati ho :)

Khamosh Pani Crosses the Border Noisily Veeresh #13 and #25,
Who put the bug up your ass? Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed again? Arey, itna bhi kya bura hua ke aapko bilawaje ghussa agaya? Did someone water down your scotch? Did you get bit by the neighbor`s dog? Did your Indian-made Maruti finally die on you? Did the bear not call you in a long time? Did your request for a Pakistani visa get denied? Did Omar finally make good on his threat to expose you to the Pak authorities? Did the airline stop asking for your vegetarian food recipes? Please tell us. We are all worried at this uncharacteristic display of anger. There must be something else that is really bothering you. :)

Khamosh Pani Crosses the Border Noisily Yousuf,
A well-written article with an amazingly clear case for caution in preenting extremism. I agree with your advice to movie-makers. Whether in countries that exercise censorship or the so-called free media in democratic countries, I can always sense the use of selective presentation. If we don`t learn to balance movies, news, articles with BOTH sides of an account, are we really free? Thank you for sharing your well-intentioned ideas.

Khamosh Pani Crosses the Border Noisily Stuka,
Thanks for presenting the facts about Boota Singh. Your account matches what I read in Freedom at Midnight - an excellent book about Partition. Had there been more angels like Boota in 47, on both sides of the divide, we would have good reason to remember that horrible year. May God grant Boota (Jamil) Singh a pleace in heaven.

Nikki 7777,
Relax yaar, go see the Biharis in Delhi and they will make you feel a lot better. This is not about India/Pak relations - it`s about not giving ammunition to those who want to start new horrors - as if 47 wasn`t gory enough.

Sadna,
We agree - let`s not make it a habit. Omar would be proud.

Khamosh Pani Crosses the Border Noisily Veeresh #13,
I read Yousuf`s well-written case for caution when portraying extremism. There is some merit in his views - I don`t think he is advocating censorship, but rather balance in presentation, so as not to inflame a particular audience. We have the same problem in the US (where we have all forms of freedoms of press, expression, and assembly) and I am sure that Pakistanis see Kashmir, the war in Iraq, and the campaign in Afghanistan in a very different light - all due to presentation. In fact, the election results in the US are testimony to the power of presentation of ``facts.``

I am glad that you have matured from nitpicking trains in Pakistan to examining articles on FP under your notoriously-clouded microscope - it`s a slow shift in the right direction. However, your personal attacks on Yousuf`s intentions and position are unwarranted. You sir, who can paint with the broadest of brushes, who can judge huge cities from the demeanor of a single cab driver, should be the last one to criticize another author for generalizing. Everyone knows how I have put up with all 425 of your Trains to Pakistan articles - each with its own plethora of inconsistencies, personal bias, gross inaccuracies, wishful thinking, illogical conclusions, and stupendous claims. I excused your behavior as that of the perennial hunter looking for a good time with the bear. Now it seems that your fetish is flourishing even when you are out of the woods. :)

My Family Reunion Dost sahib,
Thanks for sharing this emotional account of a real family`s anguishing choices, its tragedy, and eventual reunion and success. I am sorry that you as a youngster had to endure all that. I am also elated that you have put that behind you and are able to have a dialogue with your former ``enemies`` and their off-spring. I have heard so many of these gut-wrenching accounts of 1947, but mostly from the Muslim side leaving India for Pakistan. It is even more troubling to hear what Hindus and Sikhs endured. I can only assure you that my religion (as I know it and as I was taught) places the most importance on the words mercy and merciful - we say Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim. How someone shouting Allahu Akbar can massacre fellow humans and then recite Bismillah before having dinner is incomprehensible to me. The real tragedy is that, as is usually the case, the innocent minorities suffered whether in Punjab, Bihar, or Bengal. To make the ``glory`` complete, hardly anyone was prosecuted or punished for this tragedy. I think Kaura said it best - ``Religion is a good way to legitimize any crime.``}

BTW, thank you for the compliment of suspecting me as someone from India. Actually, my grandfather migrated to Pakistan in 1947 from Jaipur. He has told me many stories about people going in both directions - some are sad and others restore one`s faith in faith.

Thanks and best wishes to your family,
Salim

Altaf Hussain Visits India: His Keynote Speech {``Are old indian lahoris buying property in Lahore? ``}

DM, there goes the neighborhood. Not only will we have to put up with dhotis, cow urine, two-toe chappals, umbrellas in sunshine, dots on the foreheads, uncontrolled flatulence, but now the high-tipping Indians will cause more inflation. I bet you Veeresh is behind this insidious plot - first he runs down the property values in Lahore through his vicious travel accounts, then he buys up all he can at rock bottom prices. What a manipulator.

Altaf Hussain Visits India: His Keynote Speech Dear Mr. Dost-Mittar,
I draw attention to the following post #88 by Ms. Sadna:
{``Here`s another definition of Pakiness -Pakis are people who talk out of their rear ends and then keep shouting blame at other people for the strange noises that resulted``}

Sir, if Ms. Sadna continues to engage in this manner, will it be any wonder if some people respond to her in kind? Then we will hear sanctimonious cries of ``foul, foul.`` I think we have been here before and Ms. Sadna should apologize for her poor choice of words.
Thanks,

Musharraf’s Radical Kashmir Proposals Gandiv #228,
{``Come out of the hallucination where you are feeling bliss of having taught me a lesson. Jews of Israel were challenged since Muhamdaiya madness started i.e. around 700 AD and ultimately kicked out of their homeland. So stop being a foolish moron!

As far as pigs and singing is concerned I know it was the paki progenitor pig of talebans who banned music in Afghanistan and led to destruction of bamiyan buddha.

Now grow up and come up with better argument or bend your back towards Mecca in the hope one day someone would give you a kick from behind.
BTW what was your second lesson???``}

By 700 AD Muslims were already approaching Spain in the West and Sind in the East. Palestine was conquered in the 630-640 timeframe. The bulk of the Jews had already been victims of the diaspora thanks to Roman actions and Christian tolerance well before the 600s. That was the first lesson in history I gave you long ago. Looks like you have a thick skull and insist on refresher courses.

The destruction of bamiyan buddha was a despicable act and I have no need to defend the Taliban - I hope that these murderous vandals are forever banished from this earth along with Modi and his BJP/RSS/VHP/SP/JS cronies.

The second lesson was denied to you, because you continue to spurt nonsense in violation of your first lesson. Now get lost.