Hunting Vole with Kestrels

I`m not sure what exactly Aamir was referring to, or why the metaphors work, but that was a damn good poem! Perhaps you could be a little more explicit in your analysis of it? No doubt I could learn a thing or two :-)

Q

Quinton Z

Where do I know this name from?

anNy, Quinton and Amir Ansari,

Here`s an example of what Amir was eluding to; pay close attention to the metaphors and why they are successful.

Camouflaging the Chimera

We tied branches to our helmets.

We painted our faces & rifles

with mud from a riverbank,

blades of grass hung from the pockets

of our tiger suits. We wove

ourselves into the terrain,

content to be a hummingbird`s target.

We hugged bamboo & leaned

against a breeze off the river,

slow-dragging with ghosts

from Saigon to Bangkok,

with women left in doorways

reaching in from America.

We aimed at dark-hearted songbirds.

In our way station of shadows

rock apes tried to blow our cover

throwing stones at the sunset. Chameleons

crawled our spines, changing from day

to night: green to gold,

gold to black. But we waited

till the moon touched metal,

till something almost broke

inside us. VC struggled

with the hillside, like black silk

wrestling iron through grass.

We weren`t there. The river ran

through our bones. Small animals took refuge

against our bodies; we held our breath,

ready to spring the L-shaped

ambush, as a world revolved

under each man`s eyelid.

-Yusef Komunyakaa

Dien Cai Dau

Dear temporal,

Point taken; While there are many examples of other animals killing each other for reasons other than food, e.g. lions killing hyenas for access to food, otherwise known as ``territory``, baboons killing leopards in often suicidal kamikaze attacks to enhance the survival chances of their relatives, etc. it is certainly true that humans have carried the art of killing for reasons other than immediate sustenance to knew heights. Still, I would argue that war, especially for the aggressor, is often seen as a desperate necessity in order to survive as a nation/people/village/person whatever. But that is beside the point; the Kestrel is not motivated to kill the vole for the same reasons that a soldier is motivated to kill his enemies obviously. I merely use the imagery of war because it effectively communicates menace to a human reader. That is important, because humans are not generally hunted by wild animals anymore. So a more effective way to convey menace is to invoke the threat that humans can pose to each other. While I am generally opposed to war, I don`t shy away from using it in my poetry because it is a legitimate, albeit unfortunate, part of the human experience. Kamikaze: looks like we have found some controversy in this poem after all :-)

Q

anNy,

Here`s one I thought of after reading your post. Tell me what you think, and if it applies to the question you raised. (I`m working on it myself :))

Farm Country

I have sharpened my knives, I have

Put on the heavy apron.

Maybe you think life is chicken soup, served

In blue willow-pattern bowls.

I have put on my boots and opened

The kitchen door and stepped out

Into the sunshine. I have crossed the lawn,

I have entered

The hen house.

-Mary Oliver

qyz #15:

thank you…i stand googled...er...corrected…:)

rgds,

t


(from any old newspaper: ...the victim was standing with friends in the plaza…passersby heard an altercation…stabbed…doa….)

(and this from a terminal patient’s bed)


oh doctor
stab me
stab me
remove the growth
so i survive
to die later
of other causes
or stab me
stab me
so i die
this pain
is insufferable.



while your assertion is true that to the victim it makes no difference how he/she loses life…it does make a difference to me/us as survivors in the cruel world…guess am making a subtle distinction … animals kill for food only…we kill additionally for many dubious reasons …including aggrandizement, bravado, faith, nationalism …do apologise for this intrusion on a fine sunday morning that has little bearing in the context of your outing…but is important for me…

Dear temporal,

I don`t mean to argue, but Kestrels do hover! I was there, remember? If you don`t believe me, go to Google and type in ``kestrel hover`` :-) The war imagery is intentional; I imagine a hovering Kestrel to be about as menacing to a vole as a hovering Apache helicopter to an enemy soldier. And it makes no difference to the victim whether you kill him for food or for sport. He`s dead either way. So while I admire the Kestrel for his sublime hunting skills, I want to also convey the true sence of menace that he embodies.

Q

``Because it hasn`t shown them something new, its given them something safe, wistfully competant and poetically written, but they haven`t had to budge in their minds, hearts, or poetic souls.``

samina

very interesting..so do (most) people enjoy only that which moves them but doesnt require any budging of minds heart etc...as in appreciate candy but not neccasarily want to chew themselves on hard candy that may budge teeth, cortex etc? phir pleasure kae liyae likhna, parhna..whats this all about? please explain, i am intrigued

quinton

i like blue sky almost painful and liquid sugar on brain bit...what do you think of layer of grimy dust on upper lip causing feelings of untold violence..(you know, turmoil with the heat)..serious here

Dear Kamikaze Poet,

No offense taken; I write for my own enjoyment and share my writing for yours. You are free to rip it to shreds, or put it up on your fridge, as you see fit. This poem is/was not meant to jar; only to capture a moment. Stay tuned for my next submission; you may find it more to your liking, assuming Chowk agrees to publish it :-)

Q

Samina Shah,

That was interesting. A question then; must all poetry have to take us outside ourselves? Just as good writing releases our storms of confusion (who wrote that?), is it not equally possible that it locates within us some sense of the sublime, as yet unknown, and sets it resonant?

Aamir

re: saminashah

...ouch...that was harsh :)...

``Quinton Zondervan`` has struck again, mating ants
and all. This poem has no downhill.

Ras

Writer,

Forgive me, I`m going to be intentionally rude: I read your poem and there were some nice moments but, in terms of the poem: SO WHAT?

Now when I write: SO WHAT, I mean, what is it that you want us know? Is it the one illuminated moment and the small ironies/paradoxes in each stanza? Okay, good, but what does it amount to? Why should we be moved?

Again, my apologies for sounding so hard, and this is not meant for you as much as it is meant for those readers out there (and you know who you are :)) who will slam something for being risky, shifty and discomfiting (for whatever reason) and not acknowledge that it has evinced a reaction that they cannot control. Do you know why they like this poem? Because it hasn`t shown them something new, its given them something safe, wistfully competant and poetically written, but they haven`t had to budge in their minds, hearts, or poetic souls.

Robert Frost: No tears for the writer, no tears for the reader.

A Disciple of the Kamikaze Poets Movement

Quinton:

Enjoyed the reflective pace…some good lines…

rgds,

t
_________________________________________

PS: a personal confesson, if you do not mind….found the reference to hovering and helicopter a bit too jarring…first, the Kestrel soars, circles, glides…does not ‘hover’…second, even though it hunts to survive, the helicopter image evokes a war like scenario a la Vietnam or Afghanistan…was that your intention?…

…very poignant imagery…had shades of of davies’ leisure...

now this is talent