Shadi For Dummies

This writing may have been for entertaining intention, on the other hand it brings out a lot of issues. This concerns women, respect, religion, culture, and much more. Seems like you have unpleasant side of women and experienced today’s messed up society too closely. Keep in mind there are still good people out there. You don’t have to be religious or do something to impress others you should do good to impact your own life. In the end you only know what’s right for you. Using women and all this sounds degrading if it was your sister or mother or daughter how do you feel about it.
In conclusion you have been direct but not true. There is a big difference direct is when you said it openly and bluntly. True is when you keep in mind your soul, and respect for others including self.
All the best to you in finding love if you believe in it. Marriage is about love not green card or abcd. Suggestion for you don’t get married; because your H1 visa is expiring you will regret it. I see a good person in you; use your writing to make some kind of change on this planet and here after. Shadi for Dummies is for immature crowd not for real people. Don’t take it personally Mr. Hussein Abbas, giving my personal opinion.

total crap ideology. Written decently though..but this is definetly not most of us guys think. My meetings with what you so ``ridiculously`` call ABCD girls has been quiet contare.......more fun to have a good converstaion or time with anyday...and after marriage is just that on a long term basis.
And let me fill you in bro, these girls know about the likes of your kind from Pakistan, giving us majority geniune individuals a bad name.
Peace
P.S Yes i agree with two things
1. You are def immature
2. No one should EVER take you seriously :)

total crap ideology. Written decently though..but this is definetly not most of us guys think. My meetings with what you so ``ridiculously`` call ABCD girls has been quiet contare.......more fun to have a good converstaion or time with anyday...and after marriage is just that on a long term basis.
And let me fill you in bro, these girls know about the likes of your kind from Pakistan, giving us majority geniune individuals a bad name.
Peace
P.S Yes i agree with two things
1. You are def immature
2. No one should EVER take you seriously :)

obviously u are a dummy who`s definitely NOT ready for marriage and doesn`t realize the seriousness of marriage. You strike me as someone who thinks they know the game but really have been beaten at it over and over again by ``ABCD`` girls. Sorry sweetie..but we truly are masters at the game..maybe u`ll have better luck in Pakistan. And another thing..y you hatin on us if you want to marry one of us??

pakwolf #89 you write ``tahmed you are winner dude``
You got that part right. :-) You should have stopped while you were ahead.
The rest is your feeble attempts at maintaining the image on chowk that seems to be of concern to you - as if all these anonymous posters here give a flying puck (heh! heh!) about your (or anyone else`s) image.
So: you should have quit while you were ahead with that part I quoted above. But, being you, you had to mess it up with your usual contortions.
Hope you have a better personality in real life than you demonstrated here. Otherwise you will live to be a lonely old man who never could get a wife...or a girlfriend...or even a one night stand...and you will be walking around that metronome like a giant pigeon making that puck, puck noise trying to attract females.

tahmed you are winner dude when it comes to an intellecual conversation. As far as my replies are concerned they can stay for all eternity on chowk so ppl can read and see how tahmed got a verbal whop Ass by Me :)
Oh and for God sake stop quoting stuff from obscure writers..........can you be a little more original than that and come up with your own incoherent ramblings that way I will have some degree of respect for you........imitating me and then trying to impress the chowk masses with your quotatins puts your sorry ass in the copy cat category.
I have a strong feeling you have married a GUJU girl and you are now upset at your loser like behaviour.............but look at the bright side with your constipated veiw of the world you didn`t have a prayer.
As far as respect for woman is concerned don`t need to explain myself to you, but you my intellectual Dwarf have shown your true colors when you tried to quickly judge and put Sara down for a casual funny, sarcastic response it goes to show your confused mentality and hypocritical ways.
I guess you don`t practice what you preach.............Another Wanna Be Gentleman with a shady woman bashing side.
Atleast I am honest and upfront you cant even claim that you little spine less Squid :)
Oppps! did I say that let`s see now folks what pearls of wisdom flow out of tahmed`s ignorant chicken obsessed mouth cause Puck,Puck,Puck won`t cut it this time.

Brother Abbas (or should I say ``PakPuckPuck``?): Dont be too happy just yet. Every idiotic post you wrote on this board is still there for all eternity (or till chowk erases its disks, whichever happens first). As I said,
``The moving finger writes,
And having writ moves on
nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.``
You are a prisoner of your own posts, and nothing I say to another poster has anything to do with your posts. Dont be sad though - think of this as an opportunity to get real and to learn to respect women.

Alrightttttttttt.....................Make luv and not War ppl. I am glad tahmed saw the stupidity of his verbal actions, I suppose their is light at the end of his tunnel of ignorance.

Sara you GO GIRL :)

tahmed32-
thanks for the sentiments. i apologize too for being a bit crude...sometimes it`s the only way to deal humorously with the abcd stereotypes. :)

sara

Sara #84 I am sorry that my remarks have offended you. That was not the intent. And those references to changing from ABCD to ABUD were certainly not meant to hurt you in any way. They were meant to be light-hearted remarks as well, poking (at least in my unrefined mind) a bit of fun at labels like ABCD.
That being better in bed comment was quite mild and humoress too. Again, I am really sorry to have hurt your feelings, and you seem to be a nice person.
Good luck in whatever you do.

tahmed32-
I still see no rhetoric as to why you continue to attack a mild comment I made about women raised here being better in bed. And from that one comment, why you continue to make such abusive assumptions about me...going as far as suggesting that I need to change into a (H) Human...
You don`t know an iota about me but can`t stop from saying some extremely hurtful things...and so what if I did want my comment to be both sarcastic and reaffirming to the female sexuality all at the same time? Who exactly are you to tell me what my comments mean or don`t mean? And why go as far as to assume that I have had experience in sex and therefore, placed my whole self-worth on a romp in bed? I made a general comment and you have continually made personal attacks against me for it...you also try making impertinet remarks about how I should see myself as a person-i have had no problem with that. Perhaps it is you that has such a small box for the definition of women that you can`t comprehend someone as a (H) human if they don`t fit into your ``proper but liberal`` stereotype of a modern girl... and that might be something you need to reflect upon. Lastly, I had made a harmless comment and in no way do I need ppl on chowk criticizing me as a person...i thought this was a forum for literature criticism and praise-not personal attacks. This is my last interaction with you tahemd32...please do resist the urge to malign any further.

sara

Lol at SaraJ # 79. ``... waiting for a pakistani fob who scratches his crotch in public ...``. So damn funny :) You know they tend to do it more when they are on the phone, especially with women. And when they are put on hold, the scratching goes on hold too, only to resume at the continuation of conversation :)

Farhan

Hello Hussain, I am fairly new to this Chowk website, but while I was browsing the site, I stumbled upon your couragous article. I was truely enlightened by the subject. It really is courageous of you to display all of your weaknesses in front of everyone. I commend you on your balls. What really made me laugh was the subject about your best friend, He really thinks he has everything under control with his so called book of Laws. If he utilizes all of these tactic, as specified in the article, then how come the girls he dates have not caught on to his sauve ways??? And you said that his current girlfriend thinks he is an angel. Is she in for a surprise, will someone please let her know what the real deal is with this male counterpart of an ABCD.
Another question, why is that you always seem to stumble upon an ABCD girl, why not a regular desi decent girl. Maybe its just a stereotype that you have produced in your head about all desi girls grown up in America? A stereotype that all desi, paki girls are ABCD. Frankly I cannot stand the label ``ABCD``. I believe it is degrading and whomever uses it is one themself.

SaraJ #79 I am not sure what to make of your note since you are providing two opposite reasons why you made the bedroom performance comment, as follows: (a) that you were being ``sarcastic`` and (b) that you were ``affirming female sexuality``. You can be one or the other, not both.
This is the reason I see from reading your post: what caused you to make the remark was a mixture of (b) and (c) but clearly not (a). You of course did not mention (c), but by this I refer to the traditional pakistani view which measures a woman`s value in terms of her ability to please the male rather than being valued as a person in her own right.
I am sorry if my picking up on this remark is embarrassing to you, though. But seriously I think you need to reflect on this, and try to change from an ABCD to an ABUD (American Born Unconfused Desi) or even plain A (American) or H (Human).
The source for the C (Confused) in ABCD is (c) above. You may wish to reflect upon this a bit.
PS: Another desi tradition you may try to get rid of is stereotyping. There are all types of american-born pakistani females, and many of them are fine, well-educated, confident young women. I have have studied in pakistan and in the US. The amount of women ``affirming their sexuality`` in lahore (in the panjab university, in the civil service academy, in fine homes in islamabad) matches and in fact exceeds anything you would find in a hippy commune in e.g. the university of michigan. I say this all based on what i have seen.

#79 by SaraJ . Way to go Sara. I like to see people willing to say it like it is.

tahmed32-
okay i was waiting for someone to make a rude comment and i wasn`t dissapointed. Look, why be so presumption as to assume that I value myself b/c of my performance in the bedroom? I never said that. All I did is see a guy making some funny yet debasing comments about ABCD girls. I cracked back by reinforcing his opinion in a sarcastic tone (i guess it got lost in the text?) that since all ABCD girls are sluts and just waiting for a pakistani fob who scratches his crotch in public, we probably have more experience in the bedroom and hence...are therefore better in it. And since I am unfamiliar with Abbas/pakman/whoever, it really makes no difference to me what he says when he meets girls. :) And getting back to the sex object thing...why the double standard...all these men can write their replies ``shaabaash...you go yaar`` but if I affirm the female sexuality in the least bit of a positive light, I`m instantly construed as devaluing myself and suffering from self-esteem issues concerning sex? I appreciate your concern but seriously, grow up. :)

sara