Parveen

I will not actually get into the anatomy of the story..... however, I am thinking why did you chose to write such a story :) and I can continue my rambling thoughts ...

the story was ok.....i hate sad ends...the breats imagery had gone astray....and temporal urs was touching too...i wonder if they were true......not that it matters.....and wow...paro had some guts lol......thanx.

a brilliant piece of writing....excellent!! touchy but superhit!!

Everyone has such adolescense memories which one never forgets, and some people just accept them as such, never stopping to think or label their own behaviour. It takes great courage to analyse oneself as ``hedonistic`` and mercenary.

One good that may come out of this article / story is that even if one is entirely free to choose a life for oneself but one should respect oneself, own desires and others as well as their desires.

I will certainly bring up my children as strong individuals who have a strong value system based on respect and justice to oneself as well as others.

,.,m

#29 by amjed on January 8, 2003 3:56pm PT
Dear ali87 (#28)

Instead of suggesting a better scenario, try writing a story yourself.

I didnt want to belittle your efforts.

Simply wanted to point out how existing social structures affect creative thought.

Im sure youll agree that there is not much happening in pakistani socitey which will lead to a different scenario. However first the vision should be there.
Which is where you should devote some of your energies perhaps.

That is my perception.

I hope I havent discouraged you.

Dear ali87 (#28)

Instead of suggesting a better scenario, try writing a story yourself.

Still stuck in the old stereo types.
--I went in unassuming, held her face lifting up a little and buried my full mouth on her quivering lips--
But what else can you expect from a person who sold his soul for money later on. An attempt to romanticise forcing oneself on a girl.

This is a tired old cliche bandied about in most Bollywood movies.

How about a scenario where she is a brilliant student from a poor family and goes on to become a senior offical in a prestigous company marrying a kind and successful husband who has a world wide business. Then the out of luck protagonist with three brats and a disfunctional wife and a dead end career happens to meet her husband in his new york office and see a happy family photograph on his desk?

But I suspect that such a scenario would not arise from set of prevliged people who come from a country which the fedual/military elite totaly dominate the Socitey.

Saraj, Ras, Semiprecious, Ansari, Bina:

Thank you all fo kind comments.

Saraj, Ras, Semiprecious, Ansari, Bina:

Thank you all for kind comments.

Mohammed-
I loved the story. Very mature and nostalgic. :)

sara

M. Amjed, welcome to CHOWK.

I really enjoyed this piece of writing.

Ras

This was my first attempt at Chowk. I did not mind the harsh comments from readers but #3 went overboard. I wonder if he is from Pakis...!

m juz speechles :|

that was a pretty piece..
it had the right amount of depth and darkness to it but the bridge between the past and present was kind of shaky..
a good read nonetheless...
me enjoyed it

What the heck...every Paro is being demystified here so why not mine...

It had been all of 15 years since I was lusting for Paro, but the bitch that she was never let me get close enough to her to try the french kiss I had
learnt from watching the `B` grade Holywood movies.In between, I was successful in kissing one or two of her ugly cousins who were not such prudes,but the fire in me could not be extinguished till I had kissed my
Paro.And then I heard that she was married to some guy and I was left
alone to reminisce about my love that never was.....and now the doctors have given me six months ..............alwida zalim Paro....