Who Says You Cant Buy Love?

Gross!!!!

awafully all these coments are very true. but i am sorry to say that the roots are not been tried to find. behind all this prevaaling situation caapitilistic aproach is working which use the feminity for the sake of industrial promotion. how long roots are not beeing discussed we can not resolve the problems even that are sex oriented

Excerpt from the Washington Post on the best-selling book by a Dr. Tatiana (actually a brit biologist who uses this as a penname) to explain serious biology stuff - all related to sex among different living creatures -using a question answer format as in Ann Landers. The excerpts follow:


Dear Dr. Tatiana,

I`m a queen bee, and I`m worried. All my lovers leave their genitals inside me and then drop dead. Is this normal?

Dear Dr. Tatiana,

My boyfriend is the handsomest golden potto I ever saw. He`s got beautiful golden fur on his back, creamy white fur on his belly, he smells delicious, and he has ever such dainty hands and feet. There`s just one thing. Please, Dr. Tatiana, why is his penis covered with enormous spines?

Dear Dr. Tatiana,

I`d prefer to keep my identity secret, since I am writing to you not about me or my species but about my noisy neighbors - a group of chimpanzees. When those girls come into heat, it`s enough to make a harlot blush. Yesterday, I saw a girl (have sex with) eight different fellows in 15 minutes. Another time I saw one swing between seven fellows, going at it 84 times in eight days. Why are they such (tramps)?

Cross-dressing sponge lice. Flatworms using their penises as swords. Male manatees that make out with, well, other male manatees.

Such is the startling and earthly natural universe well-known to Dr. Tatiana, the nom de plume of real-life author Olivia Judson, a 33-year-old Oxford-trained Ph.D. in zoology whose 2002 book, Dr. Tatiana`s Sex Advice to All Creation, has quickly evolved into a national best seller.

Farzana,
Indeed. :) The discussion of female hormonal cycles as per our dear male Chowkies never fails to amuse! Now psychology...can you imagine? You`ll have to write another article/essay so we may start to broach that one...

Tahmed,
Agreed. And then we let those couples have children!

Khan Sahib,

Thank you. But, I think there might be more to it than even that.

Urstruly,
The horse says both. There are studies on male hormonal cycles that show male biochemistry to be as interesting and quirky as female hormonal drives. Or to use another farmyard metaphor, whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

Saminashah # 143

Thanks for your reply. I take that as a `yes` - that the PMS is a reality and not just a myth. Was your comment on male hormones just tongue in cheek response or is there a reality to it as well. I am really interested to know; especially when it comes directly from horses mouth.

saminasha #143 as for pms in wives, i learnt about it only after some years into the marriage when it finally dawned on me that my dear wife was not going to be her usual sweet self for a little while following the monthly cycle. I seriously think that they need to educate would-be couples more on this prior to their getting married since it would make a big difference in their relationships.
They should also educate would be couples on other things in Pakistan - e.g. verbal communication, where men clearly seem to be designed differently. It took me a while to figure this out too.

I find it surprising that while we require someone to pass a driver`s test and to have a driver`s license before we let him or her loose on the road, there is no such thing required for young people before setting them loose on one another and forcing them to find out things the hard way. And many pakistani couples never learn, i can tell also.

reply # 143 Saminasha

There are no harmonal cycles in man. Only the intensity of harmonal affect varies.

At puberty, he is confused and can not fathom the nature of uncontrollable forces building inside him; and how to handle them.

In 20s and 30s, he is vary potent and is liable to be overwhelmed by these forces and even cross the social/religious boundaries set upon him for the control of his libido. In man-woman relationship, he is simply an explosive volcano. (leaving the partner high & dry)

In 40s, he can exercise a greater restrain and handle his harmones well. This is time that he can put his harmones to the best effect in any relationship.

In 50s, he has all the control and requires a strong external triggers to perform well. (second marriages/extra marital)

in 60s, he has no harmones - almost.

Good metabolism, light exercise and external seduction influences trigger or can intensify the harmonal affect.

samina (#143):
:) ... and thanks for the explanation. I was struggling with the moments of truth, so objectivity was lacking! Btw, men should NEVER ask their partners what they really think of them...

Generally, it was a great discussion, good to have men talk about feminine things. Now if only they knew a bit more about female psychology and not just biology would not life be just luvverly...

saminasha #143 i see you await news on the hormonal cycles of men. SR I think is the resident hormonal expert. All i can say is - the male chemistry does not involve pms type mood swings. male hormones start raging at the age of 12 and keep raging forever after that.

Reply # 142 SR

Thanks a lot. I get your point. You are highly knowledgable on these matters from a technical viewpoint. Frankly, my observations were based on simply general human behaviour; and not on great deal of knowledge of the female biology.

Still no answer on the hormonal cycles of men on a board full of male interacts? Why not, I wonder?

Urstruly

The theory on PMS:

During PMS, women are forced, through the imperatives of their biochemistry to think and act the way they really feel during the remainder of their hormonal cycles, but cant because of societal constraints. So, when your wife, instead of sliding your khogina on your plate with two delicate pooris, leaves a note reminding you where the Frosted Flakes are and that you forgot to buy the milk, so you`ll have to do with condensed milk or water and that she`s gone out for a walk, this is what she thinks MOST of the time you think she`s thrilled to be microwaving your biriyani, or picking up your socks...

For some reason that STILL evades me-women are expected not to say, ``Janimun, you have two hands-could you pick up the phone?`` or ``Miansahib, these children are also yours-is there any shame in your rearing them while I am at work?`` or one that I`d like to hear; ``No, my dear husband, you will not forbid our daughter to learn the Dreidel song at public school. You will have to live in the world like the rest of us!``

Instead, this truth only comes out when we are feeling tired, physical discomfort or nausea and we cannot bear to look at our mehboobs sitting on the couch eating peanuts while the children run around dragging the furniture across the room...

Understand this as PMS honesty-the only time in the month when you should not dare to ask your wife what she really thinks about you. Seriously.

#129 by nazarhayatkhan [“…you mean that the human female specie does not come in heat because she loses blood during her menstruation. But all other mammales do not lose blood during the mensuration/whatever. …”]

Khan sahib forgive me if I wasn’t clear enough, but this was certainly not what I wanted to convey.

First of all I dispute the notion that a women is more receptive during menstruation. Human menstruation is not the equivalent of estrous in many other mammals. That may happen to some women but is certainly not the norm. And from an evolutionary point also it makes no sense. So the discussion based on the premise that a women becomes more receptive at that time is moot.

I was saying that the very fact that the human female loses blood is clear evidence of “bad design”… it was a lightly spiced jib at the religiously inspired concept of “immaculate design” (ashraf-ul-makhlukaat). After that I made a poor attempt to theorize some evolutionary justification. I surmised that perhaps because of the (well documented) event in human evolutionary history when the brain size started increasing very rapidly, the species experienced lots of unusual survival pressures because of things like high female death rates due to childbirth (pelvic bone size didn’t keep pace with brain size). Of course, only those females survived to contribute to the gene pool who were lucky to have adequate sized pelvic outlets. This explains the painful birthing experience (also unique to humans) but does not explain why there would be blood loss. Losing blood should have been a survival disadvantage so why was it not selected out? The implication, which was not clear in my earlier message, is the phenomenon called “linkage”. It just so happens that some gene tend to stay more closely (statistically speaking) together during transmittal from one generation to the next. Kind of like a piggyback ride (over simplification). Therefore, if one gene is conferring a huge survival advantage then the linked gene may be an “acceptable cost” in evolutionary survival terms. Of course, there is no evidence (known to me) that such did happen. All this is over simplified almost to the point of distortion so please take it in that spirit only.

As far as facts go, the mid cycle period, when ovulation is taking place, is the time of heightened pheromones and other hormonal activity, as evidenced by increased vaginal mucous which affords the lubrication (KY jelly does not even come close!). Menstruation, by contrast is a non-fertile period and the hormonal effects are decidedly absent. However, I am willing to allow for the psychological factors. Knowing that there is no fear of getting pregnant may be a contributing factor to claims of enhanced desire, if indeed there is any validity to those claims.

Marriage (arranged vs. self selected)
Far be it from me to attempt a ‘compare and contrast’ between the two varieties when the trouble is with marriage itself. There needs to be a complete paradigm shift about an institution that was established in the agrarian age and is barely squeaking and stumbling along. It is an increasingly failing arrangement at least in the highly mobile information age societies. But what to do?

Let’s take stock: the pros and cons. IMHO, marriage could always continue to serve two purposes, no matter what era we live in. (1) Providing a safe arrangement for the emotional, legal and financial well being of the next generation. (2) Companionship in old age. (During the middle years marriage can be a less desirable state to be in.)

Since the prime age of fertility is 18 to 25, it stands to reason that an early start of procreational activity was a good thing for agrarian societies. Today it is possible (even desirable) shift this window by a decade. But still, the fact remains that childbearing needs to be over and done with at a reasonably young age. And then it takes easily 16 years to see the young one through to a point where the begin to enter adulthood and may not need constant parental security umbrella.

I therefore think that modern marriages could evolve into legal contracts that come with an automatic expiration date of ten years from the wedding day or, if children are born into the union, then there is an automatic extension until the child reaches sixteen. Needless to say, there should be an extension provision if both parties agree.

Another concern is that since the average woman live seven years longer than the average man, and the average age of a bride at an average wedding is about three years younger (these numbers can be adjusted up or down), every woman can presently expect a decade of widowhood at the tail end of her life. This is clearly unnecessary and can be solved if women marry men, at least the second (or last) time, who are ten years younger, on average.

…SR

to hamidm2:

``most arranged marriages end up being rather unhappy unions of convenience based on children, financial security, extended family and habitual sex``

Going by the high rate of divorse (more than 50%) in the US, it would seem the same is true for `love` marriages also.



``and the men let the hair grow in their ears and noses and the women get broad in the behind and life goes on``

On the +ve side, this suggests a certain assuredness, a stability, in the husband-wife relation. I often wondered what drives western men and women to take such good care of themselves. Now I know. They HAVE to be marketable at all times, divorse may just be around the corner.

............ sometimes i wonder how things might have been if god hadn`t decided to disown the three sisters - lat, mannat and uza ......... women might have ended up ruling the world and we wouldn`t be having this silly discussion ............

Is PMS a myth or a reality? Could someone please enlighten me.

Reply #133 Farzana

``I would be interested in some clarification from the men here about the general attitude towards menstruating women…why do most men find it repulsive? Or is such a woman more desirable?``

The taboos linked with mensuration in various cultures, societies or religions are all no more than a response to an unusual occurance linked with blood and sexuality. The more religious or traditional a man is, the stronger belief he would have in such taboos.

I do not think that most men find it repulsive. Some men may even feel a woman desirable in this state. Mensuration is also accompanied with a clearly discernable odour. This is the only bodily odour that a woman oozes out and which is linked with her sexuality. (shades of comparison here with the mammle world where the males finds out the receptive female through her bodily scent that is being oozed out)