A Pocket Full of Faux Pas’

#19 by khatam-shud on January 1, 2004 3:54am PT

Thanks for making it simple for me. Your article in New Year issue of Daily Times was also an intresting read.

anew: no masterpieces here - and i never suggested that you are incapable of showing understanding. I was trying to say that some things carry a lot of baggage with them...and the issue of money and what it can (and cannot buy) is one of them. you can infer a lot. or you can boil it down to something as simply as you have. the choice is yours.

chowk editors

please remove this and the preceding post...i was just testing the links..thnks:)

New American Century
Hoodbhoy
Borders and Boundaries in Partition Literature-Shivam Vij
1. Partitionís Unresolved Business`` by Harris Khalique in The Hindu
Sunday Magazine, 6 October 2002. URL:

Is this Honour – Nadeem Saeed
What Women Read --Bina Shah

Thoughts Of A Secular Sufi
Noam Chomsky
http://www.bitsonline.net/eqbal/articles_on_view.asp?id=1

#14 by khatam-shud on December 28, 2003 4:39pm PT

I think the best thing is to accept my inability to understand your masterpiece. Not sure whom you are discussing and what is your message. Please let me regain some confidence and tell me in simple words that you want people to be simple and stylish.

Khadija: Unfortunately, I do not read Pakistani Newspaper/Magazines regularly to locate an article, but if I do I will certainly raise hue and cry :). This is a very well put together piece and I can well relate to your concern. Last year, Dawn published my letter of concern on Lahore Airport`s million and one stops. I would not call it editing since Dawn`s Editor needed to be kicked out for the pathetic editing he/she performed. My letter ended up looking like an incoherent nonsense. Luckily, I had already sent that out to friends and family all over the world and they happened to read the original version. By the way, some of the stuff that was taken out dealt with the horrific moustaches of the male workers at the airport. Probably, the editor or assistant editor may have kept similar profiles therefore they became touchy....whatever. By the way, I suggest sending the above to some newspapers and magazines outside of Pakistan. I found The Gulf News quite interesting. It had quite a few contributions from Lahore on similar kind of issues that you have highlighted. In my opinion, always send your contributions to 10 different places vs. 1 or 2. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Best Wishes...

Rest later,

i tried posting this a couple of days ago - internet went down -so the response is delayed but here goes:

Anew: just a further clarification before my response to you. I`m not attacking the nouveau riche as such, because sometimes that classification is not enough, although I do understand if that’s who you interpreted to be the class of people that my article targets.

And yes I’ll grant you that Islam may have the cure for a major part of the problem I describe. But you see, sometimes that’s just not enough especially since I like to take universals somewhat into the picture. This is not just a Lahore-related problem. there is a class of people everywhere in the world - name any city and it has one, some have them more than others - that suffer from the brand affliction and are blind to everyday realities. And it scares me to think that I could easily have been one of them - and more disturbingly, that some people may see me in the same light. So perceptions also play into the picture here. Its` not a black and white issue because the hype around it really can confuse matters.

Secondly, the aesthetic eye is not a hereditary feature.

I really don’t like making personal attacks so please don’t take what I say as one. And I’m here to discuss and clarify so go ahead and criticize away...

ZahraJ: I did send it to a local newspaper. They edited it! And so badly that I cringe when I see the paper. You’ve been following my pieces so if you come across that please do tell all you can that the version that found its` way into hardcopy was seriously compromised. I think temporal picked up on where it was printed. He called it ``that rag``. Id rather not name names, and I personally don’t think that paper is a rag but my article has certainly become one inside it.
I’ve been struggling with the idea (or maybe saving my writers very-hurt pride) by lamenting the fact that I submit my work to a publication where writers are better than the editors. I’m possessive about my writing and I have a vanity problem too, I think...but if u do see it, I think u`ll recognize how the message of my piece has been totally lost in that edited version.
And everything you say in your response. I absolutely agree!

Ansari: I’m glad u enjoyed it - it’s always nice to hear that. And yes exposure counts for a LOT. And I am so happy to know that you, as well as rozaiba, can see what I meant when I said that the problems underlying fashion hold true for other areas of life as well. I’m pasting my last para here to affirm it once again:
``We opt for the comfort of the safe make-an-impression-designer-label and in doing so we blind our aesthetic eye. If we continue to do this long enough, we will lose it forever. But it seems that no one really cares. The security that the brand provides, no matter how high its’ cost trumps creativity and the variety that could have ensued from it any day. That is the problem with fashion nowadays. It is the problem with everything. And it is what is killing us as a nation-at-large in the name of globalization. I guess money really can be funny then. And if we don’t do something about it, then soon, very soon, this will be just a rich man’s world.``

Khadija/k-s:

…ok, will not shatter your love for diamonds…but place a real set by a fake one… this is true…tho’ my friend insists that challakoo aunties only wear one set…but yes, you are right he said, a trained eye can spot most fakes…no deboers…they are a marketing ploy…a powerful and resourceful cartel…

fresh scrubbed versus...whatever…now that you point out we are on the same page:)

..ok…let’s make it a ‘carriage’ with right ‘attitude’…it’s a pleasure to agree! (btw ignore the ‘hook’ remark)

lve,

t

aamir:

gnothi seuton?

o tempora! o mores!

look around (specially since you are in lahore today)....the friends you see around will be the aunties of tomorrow;)

khadija:

...the promised response is delayed...but it will come...been preoccupied some...

...t

Enjoyed reading this. Yes, Lahore`s aunties do have a penchant for picking the most garish outfits to costume themselves with. I think the aesthetic sense you were alluding to is not just a function of less money but a more comprehensive exposure to various styles and ways of living. Rozaiba`s right in mentioning how this concept of a more wilfull and informed attitude to matters of dress can be extrapolated to all areas of life.

Gnothi seuton, or know thyself.

It`s a timely article. Probably, it should have also find some place in the local newspapers. Ironically, money CAN buy a lot; but it cannot provide you with the sense, wisdom, experience, and enlightenment. You have to earn those. Unless you do not earn all the above yourself including money, you do not ``get`` many things in life. Pakistani Society in general is way too much influenced by the Indian Media, both drama and movies. There is no other outlet for women except for spending money and eating out. No education is provided to women to manage their finances. To top it all, a woman`s financial worth is determined by the man who bears her burden. Obviously, when there is not any outlet for expression and thought then people will dwell on glitter.

By the way, one of my cousins, an anthropologist recommended me to look into Newsline`s latest issue on my way back from Lahore. Since he has worked with the Agha Khan Development Programs for quite sometime, he was very passionate about that study. Probably that study may reveal deeper insights into the current psyche.

It`s a timely article. Probably, it should have also find some place in the local newspapers. Ironically, money CAN buy a lot; but it cannot provide you with the sense, wisdom, experience, and enlightenment. You have to earn those. Unless you do not earn all the above yourself including money, you do not ``get`` many things in life. Pakistani Society in general is way too much influenced by the Indian Media, both drama and movies. There is no other outlet for women except for spending money and eating out. No education is provided to women to manage their finances. To top it all, a woman`s financial worth is determined by the man who bears her burden. Obviously, when there is not any outlet for expression and thought then people will dwell on glitter.

By the way, one of my cousins, an anthropologist recommended me to look into Newsline`s latest issue on my way back from Lahore. Since he has worked with the Agha Khan Development Programs for quite sometime, he was very passionate about that study. Probably that study may reveal deeper insights into the current psyche.

#6

Khadija

I appreciate your `discerning eye` and `sense of style` being classified as the hallmark of `traditional rich` which `neo-rich` Lahoris lack. The `aesthetic eye` is also heriditary feature. True, money can`t buy the elegance but Islam (the one without break) can take us out of this confusion, contrast and brand craze. Money can buy diamonds, fashion and brands but not the Style. That is exclusive for the Class, no matter how full their purse is.

Did I deduce right this time?

But take my word just for a change, Islam cures all these `complexes` and make your life and thoughts more meaningful.

My `annoyance` is not with what you did write but `the attitudes` you described. Otherwise you did write very well and `more educative and effective` than `my preaching`. I will also request you like Temporal did that `continue portraying the picture` in Lahori landscape.

Khadija/k-s:

just a quick note...appreciate the response:)...you should write more here...(not that rag!...heheh just kiddin`)

...the divine leeway has landed me in more trouble than one can imagine...tho` to be fair has rescued me also out of some impossible situations:)

...t

ps: oh, this does not mean you`re off the hook...detailed response later...

hey temporal: glad to see you still patiently reading my writing. i dont disagree with what you say but there is so much to dressing up that a lot of people just, i guess, dont want to understand. i think ill just itemize my responses to your comments:

``divine leeway`` - i will use that :).
and your caveat: made me smile.

``diamonds are for dummies!...`` well...diamonds are diamonds and you can tell fakes apart from the real thing..its almost instinctive in some cases. the cant-tell-the-difference deal was sparked off by a report saying that debeers has to laser-tag its` gems to distinguish them from top quality fakes. but place a real set by a fake one and you can so tell which is real! i guess ill just close this by saying - i love them and, as you say, with love comes the hormonal factor and so maybe thats just my blinded-by-love-ness talking!

``the hormonal factor`` - i talk about objective fashion and not subjective love so the point u make here is invalid.

``fresh/youthful ...looks`` - i think i said that. read this: ``The perfect look emerges when one focuses not just on what goes on the body but also on what goes inside it. Healthy hair and skin add a special glamour that no lakh-rupay-ka-jora can. And the bounce of a fit body whether stick-thin or curved-just-right cannot be purchased with a liposuction or tummy tuck``.

``how one carries`` and ``more than attitude`` - absolutely. But with no attitude you got no carriage. i should have elaborated on this though. point well taken.

and i attack not the nouveau riche but any monied person who closes his/her mind off to creativity because he/she can simply buy everything.

and anew: wow! thats a lot of rage for a clarification. lets take this, again, one-by-one:
``The people who have fear of ALLAH...Islam condemns both miserliness and extravagance``
ummmmm...where did that come from? and as an attack! i dont think ive been easy on wasteful spenders. i think money can stifle creativity - read my article again, if you like, ive put it down quite clearly. i may not have quoted islam and moderation but i dont like throwing the name of Allah/religion around in vain. Your fervor is great but please give Islam etc. a break please!

you live among the wealthy class - good for you!
you find them to be nauseating show-offs more often than not - welcome to my frustration.

``Ather Shahzad`s touch`` - dont even get me started!

``temporal is right`` i agree
but then you say : ``How much money they waste on ``Healthy hair and skin``?`` - i think temporal agreed with me on the health-is-a-pre-requisite-for-beauty. So if you are taking sides, whose side are you on? because as i see it - temporal isnt really attacking anything that i said. which is what is nice about him...he discusses. I wish more chowk-wallahs would do the same.
and, youre rich right? you said that. So why do you think you have to spend money for healthy hair and skin? vegetables do the trick quite nicely for both and they dont cost much. just a little fact for you.

#3 by khatam-shud on December 23, 2003 7:55am PT

The people who have fear of ALLAH and have fair earnings are not extravagant. They have different culture. The culture of simplicty. Islam encourages moderation in all affairs. Islam condemns both miserliness and extravagance.

``… and do not be extravagant wasters. Those who are extravagant are kinsmen of Satan.`` (Surat al-Israa` 17:26-27)


Lavishness and excess often lead to arrogance. Additionally, they can breed envy and resentment between the affluent and less wealthy segments of society.

Khadija!

Unfortunately, I live among the ``Class`` you described and based on my personal experience - These are not the Real people; they are artificial and show-offs and in majority of the cases, wealth of these people is quite dubious.

Temporal has quite simple ways to look graceful. It is not always designer clothes, diamonds and Athar Shazad`s touch. The affluent class needs to be simple so the middle class come out of the `catch-up` complex. These neo-richs `awam` look real funny when they are wasting money on Brands; mostly fake like them.

How much money they waste on ``Healthy hair and skin``? The ``lakh-rupay-ka-jora `` from SHE or VISAGE is a ``double fatigue``.