Our Loved Ones Left Behind

I love how this phrase describes your outlook on women and their position in the misogynic Pakistanic society: ``getting some attention from her husband is better than not getting any attention.`` I think you and your friend both need a wake-up call. This is the 21st century... and women will no longer need their men`s glances to complete their until-then hopeless lives. Realize that it is no relationship when one has to compromise: in marriage and in love, one should cooperate, not compromise thinking it is the best it will ever be.

#36 and #44:
Both posts indicate how insecure and non-existant this person is. May he or she find some security in their persona before they latch on to someone else.

#39: I am afraid that is a very bitter outlook on life.

ZahraJ:

it`s great you`re supporting causes in America. more power to you.

yes, there are lots of fraudiyay out there (in Pakistan). I agree there are very few opportunities in pakistan. Thus one can`t build a career there and so develop intellectually.

however, that doesn`t negate anything at all with respect to the fact that we are contributing to resource and brain drain. it`s basic economics. we all individually have valid excuses to base our rationale for choices on. but the bottomline don`t change. because our choices and often our thinking as well, perpetuates the `outflow` of potential.

Harimau,

Burn, baby, burn.

Umer M.

# 19 Harimau

That practice is dying out, from what i seen while i was there...

Rozaiba:

Thank you for your guidance. I will certainly look into your enlightening suggestions with the hope that you`ve looked into those yourself and have benefitted from them! I think we agree on some points and we see differently on others. That ought to exist! Human beings in general must have the sense to see things differently and believe in what they truly respect. I have immense love and respect for certain American Institutions who have assisted me in educating Pakistanis in other parts of the world regarding basic healthcare. That`s something very dear to me and I would go upside down to support those institutions. In that capacity, I can understand that I may have stepped over something that you held dear. And I am sorry for that. I can narrate a good number of examples of crooks and hanky panky institutions and frustration the youth goes through - quoting straight from the horse`s mouth. No hearsay. Right from the educationists who are tackling with the frustrated youth. Right from the frustrated youth who sees no future. But I won`t! I also think you could not comprehend my post # 22. I will forgive you for your oversight. With that, I do not have anything else to add.

Take Care.

a woman without A man is a woman of substance. a woman does not need A man to make her life complete.

ZahraJ:

I`d prefer being seen projecting naivety rather than wear ignorance like a gold medal.

You should consider reading your heroes Rudy G and all a little bit more. It`ll help you understand how the world works and its potential a lot more.

Cheers!

[Ps. You can also contribute to Shahzad Roys Sahara foundation. They PAY beggers to show up in class and learn to read and write.]

Ref UmerMurtaza #30

[Harimau,

Yeah, let`s burn `em - diddly dosa ishtyle.]

I gotta admit it: you got SOME nerve, coming to this board in favor of karo-kari!

A woman, without her man, is nothing. A woman: without her, man is nothing.

Rozaiba,

In response to your naive arguments, I would just add:

Hum Ko Maaloom Hae ... Janna`t Kee Haqeeqat Laiken
Dil Kae ``Kush Rakhnae`` Ko ... Ghalib Yeh Khayal Aacha Hae!

Cheers...

I`m glad you understand ZahraJ.

I can understand if you don`t see any credible causes in Pakistan to contribute to. However, that don`t mean there are none. You are just going to the wrong drawing rooms sitting with the wrong type of people. Anyhow, I suppose I can forgive you for contributing to the brain and resource drain.

Rozaiba:

[It`s ALL a matter of sacrificing and prioritizing life accordingly. Many are not willing to sacrifice. That is all right. But lets not use arm-chair intellectuals or drawing room Pakistanis in the west as a basis to judge if anything meaningful is being done. Pakistanis in the west are escapists who feel guilty about not being able to help out- probably because they don`t want to sacrifice their great and easy-breezy life they have in the west or because they need to develop themselves professionally etc. However, this feeling of guilt shows that they do care. And so this guilty feeling can be and has been used to channel some degree of resources back. ]

With due respect, I repeat you have the right to entertain your perspectives and I have the right to show my disdain. I respect your sentiments. And, I would only take a step back to avoid hurting your feelings.

[There are several Chowkies who choose to live and work in Pakistan. Particularly among the young lot. And they are an inspiration and REJECT the claim that nothing can be done. ]

Good for them if they chose that option by personal choice and gave up better opportunities available to them elsewhere in the world. I am sure they are growing tremendously and contributing to the infrastructure.

Cheers!

ZahraJ:

No, for those who make an effort and succeed in overcoming the odds, this is not a waste of time.

There ARE and HAVE been steps taken and SUCCESS is visible. Let me give you another example closer to home. A group of retired judges set up a school that ONLY enrolls underprivilieged poor kids under the condition that they have to show academic execellence. My cousin was enrolled in that school for a couple of years. But then he lost interest in studies and was kicked out. Nevertheless, this `Trustee` school run by retired judges takes these underprivileged kids from grade 1 to college and beyond by finding them jobs through the intricate network that the retired judges have because of their years of familiarity and connections in the Pakistani system. The school isn`t merely educating poor kids, but as long as they remain academically competitive, finds lucartive job opportunities for them.

It`s ALL a matter of sacrificing and prioritizing life accordingly. Many are not willing to sacrifice. That is all right. But lets not use arm-chair intellectuals or drawing room Pakistanis in the west as a basis to judge if anything meaningful is being done. Pakistanis in the west are escapists who feel guilty about not being able to help out- probably because they don`t want to sacrifice their great and easy-breezy life they have in the west or because they need to develop themselves professionally etc. However, this feeling of guilt shows that they do care. And so this guilty feeling can be and has been used to channel some degree of resources back.

There are several Chowkies who choose to live and work in Pakistan. Particularly among the young lot. And they are an inspiration and REJECT the claim that nothing can be done.

Cheers!

Cemendtaur:

I took some liberty in taking the story to the next step. In doing so, I did not mean to hijack the gist of your issue under discussion. If I came across taking the above route then please accept my apologies. That was not the intent. The intent was just to help thy friend :)

Regards.