A Teacup in My Hand

Re#69

Thanks for your comments, and appreciation.

Islam allows polygamy, it is a fact no one can dispute. But, `a man marrying twice is not that bad` is something, I think, that the person on the receiving end, i.e. the woman, would be a better judge of. A man may disagree; it is his prerogative

This story has projected a woman`s viewpoint. There`s no conflict over the concept of polygamy here, but if a woman decides to opt out of such an arrangement and move on with her life, there`s no compulsion on her to stay on and endure it.

good piece !!
nice way of creating scenes ,through time.
to add few things ...........
i wonder why chowk admin promotes anti -islamic concepts.
no offense to anyone in particular, but man marrying twice is not that bad,as it is advertised time to time,by those who are agonist to the idea.(good or bad!!not discussing)
if it`s a matter of having different point point of views, then why we havn`t seen a single article in favor of the point.?
Since it is in accordance to islam, then i guess ,no muslim should have any conflict over the issue, and non-muslims,i believe ,would respect the teaching of other religion .!

Re #18,32,44,56,66

I don’t know if I am missing something here, but you seem to dislike this short story because YOU want to see it ending in a different way!

You have repeatedly mentioned phrases like ‘What I would have liked to see’ and ‘What the writer should not have done’. Well I think this is the prerogative of the writer to portray a character in whatever manner she wants. SHE has written this story. There are all sorts of people in our society – some women in Pakistan are emancipated as you mentioned but a great majority is not. If the writer chooses to write about them it is her choice. In fact the character of Sonya is the epitome of emancipation. The word emancipation means ‘to be free from the control of another’ and that is exactly what she achieves in the story. And believe me, in the real world freedom always comes with a hefty price tag. It is never for free.

Writing about a wrong does not perpetuate that wrong. On the contrary it creates awareness about that wrong and is always the first step toward its rectification. I do not understand how you get this idea that this story is in any way a “low self esteem ‘realistic’ stuff that deprives women of their basic rights”. To me it seems that this story actually should give a lot of courage to women in a society like ours. It shows them possibilities and alternatives to some very difficult situations in life.

And finally, this is a fictional story not a code of law! Literature or for that matter art in any form is not necessarily about an ideal life. That would be escapism. In fact literature need not necessarily be even realistic for it to be enjoyable (hence the word fiction!); although this story does have many features which are a daily occurrence in our part of the world.

So please for a change, stop this litany of ‘how YOU would have wanted the story to continue and end’ and say something about the literary merits and demerits of the story.

Re: # 66

Zahra. I totally agree with you. :)

Its just that i know of somene, who was not educated when faced with a similar situation. And she filed for Khula, resumed her education, and stated working. In fact she was working at quite a high post in a mltinational company, the last time i met her.


And... may the Optimists prevail. :)

Re: # 65

Elusive - I appreciate your insightful post, but I beg to differ with you on the sorry state of affairs. I have come across some very bold and brave women who have gone through major changes in life and have still kept on going despite all the emotional fiascos, heartbreaks and divorces. I do not think people enjoy that experience, but that`s life. Yes, the women were well-educated professionals and had more options than a woman who is not.

I am not saying that we should ignore the uneduated women, but I did not read this fictional work geared towards uneducated women. Did the writer mention anywhere that Sonya came from such background ? I may have missed that. I really found the right of divorce subject interesting as that creates awareness. There are not that many write-ups on Chowk where this is mentioned. Hats off to Tahera for raising the awareness on the said right!

In my opinion, this right is granted to women in educated and enlightened families who care for their daughters` well being and are not superstitious or traditionally blind. To me, Sonya`s aunt was a wise woman who thought on those lines. I do not see this episode addressing the unfortunate women of the Pakistani society who were uneducated.

While reading this well put together fictional piece, I had a completely different audience in mind and that`s why I raised my earlier points and expectations. Now, if we apply this story to the kind of audience you are referring to, I would tend to agree with you. Unfortunately, my point of reference was different.

I am an optimist, not an escapist :)

Re: # 62


Sadly, though one can not ignore the fact that an uneducated woman, who has spent all her life, in the belief that she can not survive in this society without a man, and unfortunately, also brainwashed that it will be wrong for her to not acquiesce to monogamy since religion allows it, does indeed, have a very low self esteem.

And for those simple woman, even a short story, which might lack intellectual depth, can be a source of hope and strength. But you missed the point there... The emphasis is not the story or the ``inspiration`` as you put it, it is the fact that many women in Pakistan , do not have the strength to stand up for themselves. And that indeed, is a very sorry state of affairs.


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Many bits here reminded me of the Iranian film: LEILA... see below from amazon.com...

-zensufi-

American audiences used to the fable-like Iranian films of Abbas Kairostami (A Taste of Cherry) and Jafar Panahi (The White Balloon) may be startled by Dariush Mehrjui`s devastating modern melodrama, Leila. Set firmly in the urban world of contemporary Tehran, this story of a couple pressured by family and tradition into destroying their happy union is a window into a world uneasily straddling the past and present. Happily married but childless, Leila and Reza are pressured by Reza`s mother to keep the family name alive. When Reza refuses to take a second wife (polygamy is still legal in Iran) the mother-in-law goes to work on Leila, beating down her resistance with a mix of pleading, haranguing, and outright lies, until the couple limply gives in.

Mehrjui`s subdued, subtle approach rolls with the gentle rhythms of a slow-paced society like many of his contemporaries, but underneath the surface calm is a churning sea of emotions: betrayal, abandonment, guilt, and grief. While the story can stand as a metaphor for the power of tradition in a modern world, Mehrjui`s heart is with Leila`s desperation and sorrow while she flails for support, even while helping choose her husband`s bride. Dariush Mehrjui has been described as the godfather of Iranian cinema, and has repeatedly clashed with Iranian censors while pushing the envelope of social issues. This understated but vivid tragedy is witness to his place in cinematic history. --Sean Axmaker

Most upsetting, the bit about having lost weight..that wasn`t relevant; sort of an antipathy to the whole pregnancy thing? Right, well, I`m male. I`m going to say things like that- it`s an inbred optimism, that Sonya does turn out alright in the end - although, wanting her own kid then adopting, in a bout of not misplaced but certainly admirable compassion, another.. one has to wonder whether this grief hasn`t left her a bit shellshocked, if you know what i mean.
The thing i wondered a little at was viewing their plight (`cos for me they`re both a plank short of a bridge) from the standpoint of a male-dominated society. This is primogeniture we`re talking about. Aunt Samina, even Sonya, get to make decisions in life that the Edhi baby`s parents might not have been able to because of this very male-dominated society. Take it away and the best one can hope for is to end up with power half-way between the two. So from a practical point of view I stand back, while admiring the intense fidelity of Sonya, and think that though she is Right- it would have been awfully convenient for her to have, at least slowly, realised that being Right often isn`t enough.
It`s pretty well told, `doe-like eyes` though?

Re: # 60

Very interesting. I never realized that some women have such low self esteem that they find this fictional piece an inspiration. I did not realize that things were that bad.

Re: # 60
Many thanks for your kind words...
Many females do find solace in being `drama queens` as you put it, while many others even refuse to acknowledge their emotions...and then there are some warm and gentle women who grow, evolve and gain strength from adversity...each responds in a way unique to her person.
I`m glad you liked Sonya for who she was....and my portrayal of her character. :)

A wonderful read. Few women have the bravery in Pakistani society, which has been exhibited in your story. Most of the females prefer to be drama queens than become their own savior and uphold their beliefs and values.

Thank you for sharing. this story is a must read for every girl next door in Pakistan, to bring home to them the fact- Courage comes from within.

regards.

#57

Sir, you are a gas!
:)

Re: # 41

Thank you for your clarification. Hope to read more from you.

Take care!

Re: # 49

bj,

............... sorry, i was busy and almost missed your lovely plot for the sequel - it is much much better than this utterly sappy and predictable piece of writing ........ it seems to me that women love to wallow in their misery and write crap like this not because they are actually outraged and want to right a wrong; they do it simply because they want to have a good cry ......... women, like our desi poets, just love to cry and whine about unrequited love, boorish lovers and bitchy mothers-in-law ............ this type of writing is a lucrative genre and industry in itself - a strange mishmash of stuff that titillates and excites pubescent girls and frustrated housewives ....... maybe ms tahera can one day join the ranks of danielle steele and jackie collins ........... i wish her well, but i still prefer you, dean koontz and john grisham - real men who write unadulterated crap for real men ............

Re: # 51

Being a woman, I do not want to see such ``realistic`` stuff that deprives women of their basic rights. I also don`t want to read about the yesteryear practices and put them on a pedestal celebrating a regressive and to some extent demented cultural mindset. So, please do not assume that what is realistic to you may be realistic to others as well.

By the way, the concept of happiness is very brutally butchered in today`s world. It`s an internal emotion vs. an external facade. And not everyone watches Bollywood bukwas to define love, happiness, joy and felicity.

Hope you have a happy day!

Re: # 53

Really? You are not excited about the Nair effort ? :(

Kyoun?