Abdul Latif Khalid (1944-2007)

My commiserations on your loss.

Regards.

My utmost condolence at these 2 massive losses for you your father & BB the charismatic liberal pakistani leader.May they both rest in peace .I lost my father 20 years back when I was only 21.I can well n truly appreciate the true meaning of fathers loss.

My sincerest condolences.

Faruk

Re:bjkumar#108

Beej, that was a really nice gesture. It takes a lot for anyone to apologize for their actions/words. Bravo for stepping up to it!!

Yasser, Innah Lillah-e-wa in illahe Ra'ajeon.

Please accept my condolence on this great loss of yours. May Allah grant Latif Sab's soul rest in heaven.

I have explained my thinking behind posting #37 on this board and at other places (e.g., www.chowk.com/unplugged/t/48015 ) on this site. I had no malicious intent in putting up that post #37.

However, I also can not, in good conscience, delink myself from the anguish that it (in retrospect) obviously caused Yasser and perhaps other members of his family.

Accordingly, before this board moves out of view and disappears forever, I would like to tender a sincere apology to Yasser and his family members for any anguish caused by my earlier post.

I do so here and now for the simple reason that it is - under the circumstances - the right thing to do.

This article here is a sincerely written, sensitive account and I hope it will help Yasser and his family members with the healing process.

Yasser,
Sorry to hear about your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Looks like your father led a full, zestful life, with passion and few regrets - and you display the same passion!

YLH: My deepest condolences on the passing away of your father.

Moorakh Ali_1,

Did it EVER occur to you that my posting did a lot more to get Yasser out of his funk (by making him mad) than any of you fellows could ever achieve with your lip-service?!!

Yasser, my sincere condolences. May God give you the strength to bear this and may you transform into a better person because of this great loss.

Ignore the Hinboos who have sullied this thread with their filth.

Dear Yasser Bhai,

So sorry to hear of your loss, may your Father rest in peace, ameen. Inalilahi vainailahi rajiun... my condolences to you and all of your family and those who cherished your dad...

Khuda Hafiz
A

Since my father died till today, when ever I think of him I mumble a Ghalib's couplet

Thee voh ik shakhs ke tassavur se,
Ab vo ranai-e-khyaal kahan

There is nothing wrong with Masadi or BJ's responses how so ever cruel some people may find them.

Once you bring something into public arena then you should be ready for public response.

Kaun kahta hai ke bujurg bada kaam kar gaye
BA ki, naukar huay, pension lee aur mar gaye

My dear Yasser:

So sorry to hear of your great loss. Please convey my condolences to Ammi ji and Aisha.
You have written a wonderful eulogy that any father would be proud of.
May your father's soul rest in peace.

MY FORGOTTEN DAD, CHARLIE CHAPLIN
HE HATED watching his old movies, didn't like Christmas and could be a terrifying father. His son reveals why he fears the comedy legend is in danger of being forgotten on the anniversary of his death 30 years ago.
Charlie Chaplin hated Christmas. The British-born Hollywood legend would scowl as his family celebrated the season of goodwill.

“It really depressed him,” reveals Michael Chaplin, the great comedian’s son. “My mother would always put a big tree in the house and we’d surround it with beautifully wrapped gifts, while my father would grow morose and complain about the commercialisation of Christmas.

“It reminded him of his hard childhood when he’d had no presents and no tree. He’d complain: ‘If I got an orange at Christmas as a child, I was lucky.’ It’s ironic that he died on Christmas Day. That gave him even more reason to hate the holiday.”

This Christmas marks the 30th anniversary of Charlie Chaplin’s death, yet the triple Oscar winner known worldwide as the Little Tramp, famed for his bowler hat and cane, tight frock coat and waddling walk, whose classic films include City Lights, Modern Times and The Great Dictator, is poised for a revival.
A Chaplin Museum is set to begin construction at the Swiss mansion where the comedian spent the last 25 years of his life, and many of his old films are being restored, while his family hopes to introduce him to a new generation.

The former British music hall performer became Hollywood’s wealthiest superstar, recognised and beloved worldwide as an actor, writer, director and composer, eventually owning his own studio.

But according to Michael Chaplin, the world’s most famous funny man of his day was “just Dad” – an emotionally removed, stern disciplinarian who could never find happiness, and only won his son’s love after his death.

“He was a very difficult father, very strict and with quite a temper,” says Michael, aged 61, the son of Chaplin’s fourth and final wife, Oona. “The old guy terrified the life out of me sometimes. His own childhood had been one of poverty and living on the streets, having to go on stage to earn money to eat.”

Michael recalls: “But I grew up on a 37-acre estate in Switzerland with a butler, chauffeur, chef, under-cook, three maids, two nannies, a secretary and three gardeners. The house was often filled with famous guests, including James Mason, Yul Brynner, Noel Coward, Truman Capote, Graham Greene and Somerset Maugham. We holidayed on safari in Kenya and travelled to Japan, Bali, Hong Kong, Singapore, India and the Middle East.

“Our father made us aware of how our wealth was obscene amid all the poverty in the world. He was always warning us that all our wealth could disappear overnight. He’d experienced the Depression and never let us forget it. He really believed in the importance of education for his children: he said it was our only defence against poverty. But I was terrible at school, so we had our wars.

“One day when I was 15 I skipped school to see a girl. My father found out and was uncontrollable. He made me walk home three miles in the rain.

“The moment I walked in, he leaped down the steps and, with a sudden movement, slapped my face hard with the back of his hand. He must have been waiting there for hours. He really socked me. It really hurt. He’d given me a few spankings as well when I was younger. He had a temper and could become obsessive about things, inflating problems until they loomed huge in his mind, tormenting him.”

For the great comedian was no bundle of laughs at home, often behaving in an emotionally and physically distant manner.

“He had trouble expressing his emotions to his sons and I think it embarrassed him,” says Michael. “He found it easier to relate to his daughters.

“A lot of the time we wouldn’t see him because he was away working. He wasn’t the kind of father who drove us to school or did our homework with us. He was a great artist and maybe it was a bit much to ask for him to be a great father as well.

“He took me out fishing once but by then he was 72 and I was 15. It was too late to pretend we were going to be best buddies.

“His advanced age also bothered me. He was much older than all my schoolfriends’ dads. At times I was embarrassed by how old he was.”

Yet Chaplin was a man of sensual pleasures. “He was a bon vivant who loved fine dining, foie gras, caviar and wine,” says Michael. “And he was no puritan in his sex life – until he married my mother.”

Chaplin certainly loved women. He wed four times, was a serial seducer of under-age girls and dallied with some of the great beauties of his day including movie stars Marion Davis, Louise Brooks and his third wife, Paulette Goddard.
“He didn’t have stable relationships before he met my mother,” says Michael tactfully.

Chaplin had two sons by his second marriage to actress Lita Grey and another eight children by fourth wife Oona O’Neill, who was 18 when she married the 54-year-old comedian.

“People said: ‘Oh she’s after the money,’ or ‘He’s perverting young girls,’” says Michael’s younger brother, Eugene Chaplin, 54. “But they stayed together for the rest of their lives. He’d found the love of his life.”

Michael’s own life has been one of rebellion against what he saw as his father’s great dictatorship. Aged 16, he ran away to live in Britain and at 17 he eloped to Spain to marry his girlfriend Patrice Johns. However, Charlie refused to give his permission for the under-age wedding.

“He wanted to know how I could afford to keep her,” says Michael. “I had no idea.”

In desperation the couple fled to Scotland where they tied the knot without needing Charlie’s approval. Within a year, Michael was hooked on marijuana, unemployed in London and drawing unemployment benefit. Charlie was apoplectic with rage. “It’s difficult living with the Chaplin name,” says Michael, who eventually became a farmer. “It’s hard to find your own place in the world when you have the name of someone so famous.

“Perhaps I was intimidated by my father’s success but I never wanted a career in showbusiness. I didn’t inherit his
artistic genius.”

But ironically, it was filming that brought Michael together with his distant father when Chaplin cast his son in a movie.

“The happiest point of my childhood was when I had the chance to work with my father on the movie The King Of New York at Shepperton Studios,” he says.

“I was only 10 years old but it was the first time I felt I had shared something with my father. He worked with me, rehearsed my lines and directed me. We were close for a short while.

“It was hard to go back to school after that. I was even offered a movie that was filming in China but my father said I had to go back to school: education was paramount. After that I didn’t have a career in films.”

Chaplin was chased from America by the Communist witch-hunts of the Fifties, settling in 1952 at the Manoir de Ban in Corsier-sur-Vevey, Switzerland, close to Lake Geneva.

“He felt lost when he was forced from America, leaving behind a Hollywood that he had helped to build,” says Michael.

Exiled from Hollywood, he kept few reminders around.

“There were no Chaplin relics around the place,” says Michael. “No mementos like the famous bowler hat, frock coat, baggy pants, boots or cane. He was not one to waste time reminiscing. He didn’t even like to watch his movies.”

But age undermined his genius. “His great creation was The Tramp but eventually he had to part ways with the character because he wasn’t physically able to continue and that must have been a great loss to him.

“He had a terrible fear of losing his audience and not being funny any more. That made it very hard for him to grow old.”

Chaplin was in fair health until the age of 85, when he was ravaged by a series of strokes. “In his final years he drifted into himself,” says Michael. “He was in a wheelchair and he was ready to go. He died in bed, in his sleep.”

Dead celebrities, such as Albert Einstein and John Lennon, can earn millions in licensing and merchandising but Chaplin’s star is currently struggling.

“It’s not a lucrative estate and that’s something we’re trying to change,” says Michael.

“There are still millions of fans and he’s part of cinema history but Charlie Chaplin is not part of modern pop culture in the way of Marilyn Monroe or Elvis.

“The Tramp is known from China to South America but we have to find a way to market him. That’s why we’re creating the Chaplin Museum and releasing his restored high-definition films on DVD.”

A father of seven, Michael now lives on a farm in the hills above Chaplin’s Swiss estate and admits: “Now I’m 61 years old I have a different perspective on my father. I didn’t try very hard to be a good son.

“He loved us, I now realise. He loved my mother and I know she loved him.

“But he could never quite be happy. He was always searching for something more than he had. Perhaps that’s why he was a great artist. He was a perfectionist, torn by doubts.”

Today, Michael recalls their impassioned clashes best. “Often I was in trouble with him and we wouldn’t speak. One Christmas I went home and we didn’t speak for days.

“Ultimately, my father loved his family. We had a difficult time together but I know now that we loved each other.

“All the resentment and regret I had has passed away. For many years I was angry with him but now I know: I do love him. He wasn’t always easy to live with but he was my father and that’s all that matters. I should have loved him more.”

Maybe it’s a cultural thing but, in the west its been said that quite a lot of sons resent their fathers for various reasons, maybe its because west is a free and open society and they are free to express their opinions about anything and everything. whereas ours is far more regimented and ruled by conventions and certain things are taboo subjects such as irreverence to parents.

Maybe Dr khalid sohail could shed some light on this subject.