Spell Undone

Thanks morpheus :)

Sabeen:

liked the events/emotions you were trying to capture. you did not bore me, and that in my books is what counts. people who use fancy words and are pseudo-intellectuals bore me to death. i enjoy reading what other fellow humans see. we all go through similar phases/emotions and so some writings strike a chord, others do not.

of course as some of the interactors point out you will be really good when you `move` people and manage to stir emotions in them. and this will possibly come when you write about something close to your heart. i think in writing there`s always a risk of exposing yourself, and this risk must be taken.

cheers and keep writing

sabeen

...the writer did...when you mentioned a three year long block wanted to discover what else you had written...and am glad you took it in good humour...

...am glad you are over the block...chowk affords us all space...young and old, old and new...and it is this unique mix that leads to further interaction...

...what i mentioned was an honest reaction...it did not move me then...on another occasion it may move me...follow sammi`s suggestion...

..t

Thankyou everyone for your appreciation, guidance and criticism.....
After 3 years of facing not just a block , but a rock solid fort I did not expect to even be published so this is an accomplishment !

temporal ....
The poem did not move you but the writer did or perhaps curiosity is one of your better instincts ........Search Engines !

Zeeshan
I may not be anywhere close to the calibre of people who write here but I can aspire to be up there someday can`t I ! The fact that I want to write makes me a writer.
The wordgames as you call it is exactly that ....doesn`t every writer resort to it at one time or another , don`t see anything wrong it. If you see my work as something a lame no brainer is dishing out in a club that clearly has a sign on its door that reads`` intellectuals only `` , its time for a reality check , chowk I believe prides itself on bringing forth and very humbly so the work of amateurs and professionals alike. It is only through such interactions that people like myself will learn and better themselves so no offense taken !

Saminasha
will try out your suggestion :) thanks heaps !

This is a very lovely write. Keep up the good work!

Zeeshan,

`your trivial incident `

Her `trivial` incident is many ppl`s `trivial` incident... there is no mystery, she captures the feelings that most ppl feel in short sentences and a few words instead of a long story...

Many ppl go thru the same and a poem can be comforting almost like a bit of therapy, regardless how many are written about each and every subject and emotion/situation etc, ppl take comfort in the fact that they are not alone...

Temporal Ji

Please, put the recipe for maash ki daal on your ilog,

Sabeen

Nice poem, been there, and probably go there again such is kismet... take care

Sabeen,

This is a decent start for a first poem.

May I make a suggestion? Take one line that you really feel something about in this poem and write it on the top of a clean piece of paper. Then freewrite for the next 10-15 mins. Whenever you feel your thoughts lagging, write the starter line to jog you on. Like many writers, you may find yourself returning to that starter line many times. :) Dont worry if you drift onto another topic-in fact drifting off is also good.

Sabeen:

A word of caution is in order here.

There are two types of contributors on interactive boards on Chowk:

1. People of high standards, who have published lots of works. They will criticize you to the pique.

2. People who would test your mettle to see how long you last. This is good in a way. It will hone you up for facing people in the real world.

Like I keep sharing on Chowk, I used to play in a live band in the 80s and 90s. If we had not disbanded, we would have stolen your work for a ballad. You would have only come to know about it and would have made a hefty money if we had made it big, which, unlucky you, we never did.

:-)

The spells die and sometimes only dreams linger on. But then again is time for a new spell. If you let the magic die out, you do not live. Such is life and on and on it goes.

Sabeen:

welcome:)

...this poem did not move me at all...

digression:...of the three ( 1 Achaar chicken 2 khatte aaloo 3 Maash ki Daal ) Maash ki Daal looks good...will pass the recipe to relevant people...:)

rgds,

t

Thanks Sam :) and everyone else . Zeeshan , I will answer your questions , just need to reflect on them a little , just to let you know , this is not the first time I`ve been published , only a first timer on chowk ! anyway....will get back to u soon !

Could you please tell me how long it takes for you write these things, how much brainpower you need, and how long you take to think of doublemeanings or create a subtext and supertext in these things?
Do you have any idea what the following line will be when you`ve written one?

Do you assume that your personal experience that you purposely trap in abstract, ambiguous random words have any meaning beyond your own thoughts and personal drama?

How would you define yourself as a writer because your first published piece is poetry?

Could you promise anyone that the words above are any different from the hundreds of poems that young people make up every day to exagerrate their lives, just add cool sounding words, connect sentences that wouldn`t belong together traditionally?

Would you be ashamed if someone said ``I relate to those words`` but you knew they`d never have any idea what you were specifically talking about because your trivial incident had been shrouded in mystery and made meaningless in these word games?

Oh no offense intended, just professional questions which you shouldn`t have problems answering.

hey u!!! an appearance, finally! and how. :)) keep writing. will talk to you soon.

take care. love, samina

alot of us have passed that phase atleast once--that spell does break but in the most unexpected way but u do find it again and it keeps on enchanting u.

Ah! If only it had rhymed, it would make a such a sweet song. Have been trying to sing a nice tune for this one. :-)

B+