Chloé and Choice

I agree with ZahraJ. ``Life is not that black and white...``
She goes on to ``hope that the more the educated young women pursue life outside of their kitchens and the maternity wards, the more they will be able to tweak and twist the world as they desire.``
It is particularly this sort of ``simple and naive`` thinking I had in mind when I penned the article. I can feel the tangible derision in the ``kitchens and maternity wards`` comment.
Its a true reflection of the mindset in our society, and sadly its more so from women than men. Why do you think that the only way to ``tweak and twist`` the world is to do it from outside the home? Do women realize the power they have to not just `tweak and twist`, but to revolutionize the world - in the span of ONE generation, simply based upon the way they bring up their children. Is that an inferior task? The only thing you can do outside the home to have THAT sort of an impact is to be a revolutionary. To give up your life for a cause. And lets face it, not everyone has it in them to be another Mandela or MLK or Gandhi.
Do you think going out and working really ``tweaks and twists`` the world? Because I don`t. I agree that it kills previous stereotypes and makes it more accepted in society as more and more women start to work, but does it really make a tangible difference? Dont you think that people, men or women, are capable of changing the world that they live in by making the smallest changes around them.
Why is it that we think we can only ``contribute to the best of our capabilities`` by working in an office? Why is there shame associated with `traditional` female roles? That shame is a remenant from the radical feminists and it has no place in today`s world. Just because women were `forced` to do something at one point does not make it an invalid choice. There have been all kinds of people at all times. If 50% of women felt they were being `forced` to stay at home and who felt that they were oppressed, there were 50% who enjoyed it. Radical feminist thinking just switches the equation around. Now its the 50% that would prefer to stay at home that are feeling oppressed by being forced to work. That is just as regressive.
If we are honest with ourselves and examine out attitudes closely, we might be surprised to find that we actually consider spending time with our children `inferior` to working outside the home. It is this inferiority complex that is reflected in Zahra`s comment.
All in all, the point of the article was not to impose a choice on women. It was quite the opposite. We should have the freedom to do what WE feel adds the most to the world and ourselves, without 50s mentalities telling us a woman`s place is in the home and
without 70s ideologies beating down on us telling us to leave our kids at daycare and work at an office. A woman`s place is wherever she makes it. There are infinite ways to change the world. You just have to find your niche.
Isn`t it about time we give women the right to CHOOSE?

I think it`s a good point the author has raised here, especially since she seems to associate with people who perceive women who don’t work with a `certain amount of eye-rolling and cynicism`...so it`s like getting a refreshing view from the other camp, from someone who`s there.
Whatever rocks ones boat, I say. It`s all about priorities in the end. Stay at home moms actually prove it with action that their kids are the highest priority, even moreso than their own selves. I think that`s something unselfish enough to appreciate.
If a woman wants to juggle a career with family, that`s great...but at least don`t condescend and criticize women who sacrifice career and all-things-fulfilling and `adventure` as ZahraJ puts it... for her KIDS!

My condolences to all feminists, especially Salim_Chauhan bhaijan, on the untimely passing of Betty Friedan. She was a good lady, and may her soul rest in peace. Amen.

[Let`s not confuse the purpose of the women’s movement, which is to give women choice, a word that implies choosing between two options. One is going out to work, and the other option is staying at home. If it’s a choice, then why do we only think of one option as a real and respectable one? Don’t we have more to gain by leaving both avenues open to us? When will we remember that the women’s movement is not an attempt to become like men? It is to take pride in our womanhood and to fight for our own and other women’s right to make the choices they want to about their lives.]

Life is not that black and white that you can easily distinguish between work vs. stay at home. For some of us work ain`t a different animal. It`s part and parcel of our lives from the very beginning of our student days. I find it extremely silly when women distinguish work vs. stay-at-home in such simple and naive terms. Some of us have seen our mothers having a career throughout their lives. I do not necessarily believe in having role models in life, but sometimes nature is real kind to you. Obviously, our outlook toward life is very different.

And work is not only about money. It`s about furthering your education (both business and technology), learning about the world and its mechanics, adventure, and contributing to the best of your capabilities for which you are rewarded.

Overall a boring read. Women exercise all kinds of options in life. What`s new? I was expecting to read a short bio of the writer saying ``A stay-at-home-dedicated-mother`` instead it said, ``a young professional``. Very amusing :)

And what is the appropriate definition of womanhood?

Hopefully, the more the educated young women pursue life outside of their kitchens and the maternity wards, the more they will be able to tweak and twist the world as they desire. A different take.

This is only a female(ish) perspective. I as a man would love to stay home and raise kids and let my wife work. Why such expectations from females only? No one cares if a fashinista resigns to raise kids because in reality in some parts of Sub Saharan Africa, women walk on average 15 miles a day to collect firewood, while men sit at home and smoke dope. These women are still able to raise kids. Feminists are hurting their cause by making such decision (to work or not to work) a major issue (it really is not). Everyone recognizes that raising kids is more work than running a company. One can still manage to do both. When kids are young, pre-school, moms and dads can work part time, but when they are in school..what are women gonna do? Watch All my Children all day?

And raising kids is not a “choice”. It’s a punishment for having unprotected sex. Everyone does her/his time.